Year 2013

Wow this year has been a very hard year, I´ve had many ups and downs!! I started off this year with no job, until February that i Finally got a job. But this job i don´t like, i mean i like i just hate that i have to work with someone who steals alot, not just money but merchandise. i really need to mov my ass to get our bussiness started so i won´t be dealing with people like that. I`ve gotten to learn alot about hardware equipment. I know how to fix something or how to ask for something when it breaks.

This year we recieved a new member in the Family. In April Yael was born, beautiful gift from God that was given to my cousin Perla and her husband. That little guy has given so much love, he is just adorable. He is almost always smiling, i love to see how much he has grown.

This year i have also made new friends, don´t see each other as much but we do keep in touch by facebook.

I have met Francis, he seems like a great man, we haven´t personally met but we do send each other messages on facebook or twitter. we met using twitter, he saw my tweets and said he liked the way i express myself and how i am to others. we messaged a lot, then he told me he loves me, i do think of him alot, but i´m not really sure if i love him just yet. i am also afriad that it could be some kind of lie, like on Catfish on MTV , so maybe with time we get to know each other more and maybe something may happen between us. I do have to say that he is a colored man, which i don´t care. I am afraid that the family might just not like him, but if i loke him and he treats me well then  thats enough for me. I leave it all in Gods hands.

My relationship with my brother and I is stronger. He sometimes gets on my nerves but i still love, i have no idea what i would do without. I am thankful that he is still here with me. I still remember when i firwst heard him cry, when we were dropped off in Reynosa with an aunt of ours cause we had to move back to mexico from texas. I hated to hear him cry, it broke my heart and made me angry and scared at the same time. But thank God he is a strong man and has helped me alot with all the issuses we had when we moved here to mexico. He doesn´t show alot of emotions but i know when he is worried, sick, scared or happy. I wish he would find a great woman in his life. If he doesn´t well i will always be here for him. Thank you brother for always being here for me!! Love you!!

My relationship with the rest of the family well, its not like i ould love it to be, unfortunatly many of us don´t talk to each other cause of stpuid reason. like "you hang out with them so i won´t talk to you" But thats the way this family is. Sad to see the family like this. but for those of you that still talk to me, thank you for always being here for me. I sure wouldn´t be happy without you guys!

My relationship with my stepsisters well can´t really say its perfect, i mean  we hardly message each other, we hardly ever talk. gotta fix that soon, cause to me they are my sisters cause we grew up together, most of my childhood memories are with them. My brother Javi, well things aren´t too good for him, but i did hear he is getting help, i pray that he gets well soon and we get to talk soon. My little sister Kati, well we hardly ever message each other much less talk to each other, thats is something else i need to change. I Love them all and hate the situation we were put in, we were seperated from each other but i am also proud that they have moved on and now some of them have their own families that i pray one day we get to meet. Guys i love you all and miss you all very much!

I havre gotten in touch with my cousin Jason, he seems like all is going good for him. Hope everything goes well for him this coming year! Love you cuz!

My father, well lets see, i don´t really have a great relationship with him, i still feel anger torwards him about what he did and for not being here for us when we most needed him. I am more angry cause he doesn´t have the courage to admit to the family thats its true about what he did. The family blames my step mother for my father going to jail, but i can honestly say i know its true about what he was acussed of. But thats him, if he wants to keep living with that lie, well then i will always be angry at him, i know its bad for me to feel likethat but its how i feel right now. Now he has a new family, new girlfriend!!! He has done for them then what he has done for us since he got out of prision!! How am i not suppose to feel anger against him when he cares more for them then his own children!!!

And of course theres our grandma, who has been there for us, she isn´t perfect but i still love her very much. This year she has been dignosed with cancer, Drs say she won´t stand the chemotherapies. she does take medication when she feels pain. she had gotten really depressed when she first got the news, but thank God she has a huge faith and huge strength that she doesn´t look so depressed anymore. I am happy that she has a huge faith in God, that has really helped her. I have no idea how i would react the day she won´t be here with us. i´m glad that God has given us the oportunity to get to know her and be with her all this years. She has put up a lot with both her kids and grandkids. She has this love that something it rough love but i still love her.

One of the saddest news i read this past November was the death of Paul Walker, i followed his Fundation, i love how he was. I loved the movies he did. I can´t image the pain his daughter Meadow is going through. He was so young. had a long life ahead of himself. Fast 7 won´t be the same without him. I know i never got to pesonally meet him but i really feel his death like its so close to my heart. Just makes you think that anyone can die at any minute any day! unexpected death is the hardest to accept. Paul Walker RIP!!!

Well i guess thats all for today. Gonna try to post some pictures that i have here on my laptop!! Enjoy! Thank you all for taking the time to read and God bless you all!!

Joelin, eating an apple, its just amazing how much he has grown!! Love you little man

This is Yael, the new member of the family, He kept sticking his tongue out! First time he had ever did this!!

Yael entertaing himself. He is just so adorable. Love you little man!!

My Uncle with his oldest son, watching videos on the computer at work!

Yael again entertaining himself well we were eating dinner :)

Me just a few days ago, preparing myslef for the christmas party at work!

Me again! same day!

And of course Paul Walker!! (not my photo) RIP

His words!! But i still can´t avoid to cry for his death!! RIP

Joel, ready for the photo!!! Love you lots little man!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas to all! Hope you all had a great christmas with all your loved ones!

I spent my christmas at home with my brother, no gifts were exchanged cause well its just the two of us and we don´t have a christmas tradition. We got up late and were able to spent time alone with no one to bother us :)

My dad well he spent christmas with his girlfriend and her son, he just sent me a text message wishing us a happy christmas. Yeah great christmas we had. In a way it better like this, cause believe me, i hate having him around, specially with his girlfriend. He decided to make her a house to live in, what about us his own children. He was in prision when we most needed him. when he got out, we had to cloth him and maintain him financially. it really upsets me to know that our own father thinks about his girlfriend before his children. he knows we have noone else in our lives, specially cause he decided to make us live in the USA with a Stepmother who doesn´t even call us or lets us know how she is or how our halfbrother and sister are doing.  Theres nothing i can do to change things but they do piss me off.

and well the rest of the family, noone called or invited us anywhere, so lets say Its just my brother and i alone in this life. But soon everything will change i have planes of having our own business and when i have enough money to party and be buying things i`ve always wished to have, i don`t wanna see any of them around.

Like my cousins lately have been ignoring me, why because their cousin has a shit load of money and is always giving them money for everything and for anything, to buy a car, to build your house, to buy a phone , come on people you decide to leave me cause i have no money...i don´t wanna see you guys around me when she runs out of money. cause moeny does run out, shit happens and one day your entire life will change!! Thats a reason why I´m happy being poor. I have no hipocrits around when they see the money sign! Then they have the courage to tell me i´m a hipacrit, please well see soon who is a hipacrit.!!!

I`m gonna change my life around, no more drinking!!!! Its for my own good. I need to show people that God is great and wonderful! He can make a huge difference in our lifes! I have many reason to be thankful for! God has given us so many reasons to be here, wether we are poor or rich!!

Well enough of that, this day is a rainy day, just makes me feel like i should be in bed under the covers :) but i´m here at work, working my butt off :) gotta make a living!!

In other news well, i seriously wish this guys would stop stealing money, i lost 900 pesos of my money to try to get the complete money for the regester box. This guy wants to live a life of being rich, when he isn´t rich just to impress his in laws, come one his in laws own various business, don´t compare, yourself to some who has a successful business to someone who spent his life drinking and acting all cool. please, even i know my limit when i don´t have money. I was told that his in laws know he is stealing but they don´t do anything cause they know he does it for his family. what good will that bring to his family? I know his wife must suspect something, she is a christian sh should have the right to question where he gets so much money from!! but maybe she knows and doesn´t wanna say anything! Its bad!!

Well guys someone here is being a jerk and wants me to get off my pc and do some work, like if he was working, downloading music!!!! but o well thats my life so far. Hope everything gets better soon!

Love you all!! God bless you all!!

Finally!!!!

Hello everyone! Sorry for the lack of posting, I didn´t have my computer! But no i finally have a minilaptop, my own minilaptop.

Many things have changed this past months. For starters, my grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer. Since they told her she has cancer, she started to become very depressed and of course scared. She said she didn´t want to leave her children behind. It just broke my heart that she is depressed. Well was depressed, thank God for her huge heart and huge faith in him, she has accepted her sickness and has left everything in Gods hands. She doesn´t seem depressed anymore. I told like talking to her about her sickness cause i feel like i might just break down and make her feel bad. Like my Aunt did, she comes and vists grandma then she starts crying infront of her, come on, we should be strong for her and happy that she is still with us.

My dad has moved to our city with his girlfriend and girlfriends son, they are living in the property that he inheriated, but the house he is still building is just not really in the conditions for people to be living in. No floor, no windows, no hot water, but he wanted to come so there he is, having trouble paying bills, paying all the material he needed to build the house, paying money he has asked borrowed. He even asked us to lend him so money. so lets see how it all turns out with him.

Work, well work is ok, just that someone here is always stealing money and i am frustrated about all that alreay, its sad cause its a family memeber who is doing all that. but i just gotta stay patient and hurry my ass off and start with my bussiness, cause i´m also tired of wqorking for other people. :)

My love life well, no boyfriend for the moment, i am trying not to force things to happen, i have faith that God will bring the man he has for me someday.

Unfortunately for me i have become worst with my drinking, i drink almost everyday. I know i need to stop for stupid reason i end up drinking. i wanna get my life together and be a better person than i am right now. mostly i don´t change cause i´m afraid of what people would say, well mostly cause i don´t wanna be leaft out of family meeting or lose friends. i know that a bad excuse but thats how i feel. I just need to learn to accept God in my life and move forward, caring less about what people may think or say about.

In other subject, i am so bored without basebll season!!!! I need some baseball to make things a little more interesting :) The Rangers have done many changes in their lineups hope its for getting better results then what they had this past season. Cause this past season i was really dissapointed. One person that i really want to stay on the team is Nelson Cruz. I´m hoping he doesn`t choose to leave the team. It was really dissapointed to here about him using drugs, but who am i  to judge!!! So Rangers i am praying tha Season 2014 is alot better then this season was!!!! I´ve said it before and i continue to say it, I´ll always be a Rangers fan!!!!

Well, guys guess thats all for today, gotta get my butt working, cause I´m at work :) Love you all, God bless you all!!!

At work!!

Hello, everyone! how are all you doing? Hope your all having a great week. Its Friday, finally :) Well I am at work, just wasting time on the laptop! Just decided to stop by and share how my week is going.

My week is going ok. Except for today that i didn´t get the chance to go home and eat cause one of the employees decided to take the day off without notification. So its just me and another employee here at work. But we did get to order food, paid by the boss. :)

I haven´t shared photos with you guys just yet, cause i am still without a computer. I have gotten used to have no computer. I actually spend more time reading and watching tv. Well watching baseball. I love to watch baseball specially if its the Rangers playing. I am a huge Rangers fan. I am proud to be a Rangers fan. Even if they have lost thier first place spot in their division. I will always support my Rangers.

Here in the city well things have gotten a bit bad, but Thank God that they aren´t the way they were about 21 years ago. I was even scared of going to work, cause of all the kiddnappings and shootings going on. Now and days there are shooting but during the night, very late at night. So if i ever go out, i prefer to be inside a building then outside of the building.

My cousins baby Yael is doing ok, just that lately he has been very fussy, has trouble sleeping. He falls asleep for about 20 minutes and then he wakes up crying. I just hope he doesn´t feel any pain of somewhat that prevents him from sleeping well at night. Other then that he is so adorable, and he loves to talk and pay atention to moving objects. I love to just talk to him and he trys to talk back like if we are having a conversation.  Can´t wait till he can acutally talk and walk around.

Things at work have been ok. I mean i love my job but i just don´t love that they are selfish with their moeny, well the bosses wife is more selfish then he his. Why are most woman like that, i mean my ex bosses wife is also like that. Only cares more about the money then the job it self, even more then the husband :)

Well i got told from my Aunt and cousin that my dad is coming back to town to live here, but not only is he coming back, he is also bringing his girls and her son. Come on, why deosn´t he call to tell me. i hate having to hear from other people. He sure isn´t gonna stay with us at the house, so many years he has failed us and abandonen us and then he decides to come back cause theres no work or money where they live. Please like if we had a huge house where he can come and bring his new family to live with. The house we are living in has 2 beds a kitchen and a bathroom... Theres barely enough space for us (my brother and me). I actually was also told that he will stay with an aunt at her house for a few days then he might go live at our grandmas house at the ranch until he "finishes" the house he wants to built. The same house he promised us that he will built when he gets out of prision. Yeah he has been out for what 8 years ( i Think, don´t like keeping track of that) and he never even started on the house. Just makes me really mad that for his girlfriend he does wanna make a house but not for us, his 2 children that sent him money while he was in prison, that ended up giving up the school to get to work and have money for him and us... Even when he got out we had to but him clothes, shoes and all the necesary things one needs. and still like that he doesn´t keep his promise... Thats fine with me but he better not be asking me for money to help built the house.

Sorry guys but i had to vent that out. :)

ok guys i better get my butt to work cause i am suppose to be checking prices :) but i am taking the time to blog a bit :)

I love you all, thank you all for reading my blog. May god bless you all!!!!!!!!

Lack of posting, sorry!!!!!

          Hello, everyone hope your all having a great week. i wanna start off by apologizing for not posting anymore. Its hard to post without a computer. yeah, i still got no computer, sucks!!! So here it goes!!

           My Uncles health by Gods grace got better, he woke up after being in the hospital 3 weeks, after the drs told us he wasn´t gonna survive. God does work in mysterious ways. The drs let him go home and he is at home, but bad part its like he is a different person. He is always mad, talks bad to his wife, he tried to kill their parrot. My Aunt is never left alone with him anymore. She sleeps in one room and him in another. She sleeps with the dorr locked cause they said he had a knife once.

             While he was in the coma we found out he had another lover. That he had been seeing her for some time already. He also talked with many hookers asking how much they charge for their services. We also found out the he owes a lot of money o different people.

               When he was finally home my Aunt told him everything about what she had found out and he told her she should of just disconnected him from the machines. Sad to know that he preferres to die rather then to confront the damage he has caused. I haven´t gone to see him cause with the type of attitude he has and i have things may get ugly. We told our Aunt to just let him go and get a divorced. But our grandma told her to forgive him, but damm if that was me in her position i would throw him out and tell him to go live with his lover. Thats my opinion.

                Other news my cousins baby is so adorable. But he loves to eat alot. he is two months old. has a lot of hair. He is starting to make little baby conversation. He starting to keep his eyes on moving objects. He loves to be in people arms but certianly perfers his mommy´s arms. I love to see how he grows and how blessed my cousin is to have the baby.

           

Yael 2 months old

Joel and Yael just sharing a moment together 

Yael smiling!!! He has a beautiful smile

Other than this beautiful baby, not much has happen except for the fact that this city is starting to become dangerous again. well its safe to walk around during the day, but at night not so much. Praying all this violence ends soon. 

Well guys I am at work, using the computer at work so, guess its time to get off. Praying you all have a great week. Love you all. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read!! God bless you all! 

Sad

Hello everyone, hope your all having a great day! Sorry for the lack of post. This past two weeks haven't been good

Two weeks ago my Aunts Husband Clemente started to feel very sick. So he went to the hospital to get a check, cause in the year 2000 he had suffered a heart attack, he wanted to make sure he wasn't having another a heart attack. Right when he arrived to the hospital they attended him and they told him he had water in his lungs. So they admitted him and put a tube in his body so they could drrain the water. He was admitted for 3 day. On the third day the said he was good to go home, but told him he can eeat certain food and only drink one liter of water a day. They gave him many medications to take.

When he was at home that same night  i was told he drank 3 liters of water and ate some Ice Cream which he shouldn't of eatten. At around 1am he started to feel bad but decided not to go to the hospital, he said the pain wiill pass. But then again at around 5am again he wasn't feeling good and still decided not to go to the hospital. But then at around 8 or 9am he finally decided to go to the hospital cause he could stan the pain.

When he arrived the Drs got mad at him cause he had dranken a lot of water, while they were trying to attend him he started to struggle to breathe so they needed to give him oxygen,  but cause of his deperation he was moving around too muchh yelling he didn't want to die. They finally got him entubated to give him air, but then his heart started to fail. His heart rate was too low. So Drs told my Aunt that they need to send him to another hospital 2 hours away from our city, but they told her that he might not stay alive during the trip. They send him in an ambulance with a Dr and a nurse.

He mad it alive through the trip to the Hospital. But when he arrive Drs said he had suffered. Another heart attack. They had to sedate him and entubate him. He has two tubes in his mouth, one tube on his back trying to drain the water from his lungs and oone tube on each foot also draining the water in his legs.

Drs told my Aunt the they don't give him much hope. That the only reason he is alive is cause of the machines. Those machines are keeping him alive. But if they take him off those machines its very likely that he might die.

I was told that his daughters live in Minnesota but they can't come to Mexico, well they can come but won't come cause they will not be able to go back to the USA cause they are ileggal imigrants.

Clements brother, sister and father did come to see him but they do live in Mexico. The brother and the father just saw him and they left, that the father said that Clemente is already died to him. That my Aunt should start deciding where she is gonna bthe borther well lets say he has the same opinion as his father. His sister is still at the hospital. She doesn't wanna leave just yet.

They asked his youngest son who is about 11 or 12 years old that where does he prefer that his dad be burried, he said that here in the city where we live. He knows his is on the edge of dying, they have told him and he just says, "I told dad he needed to stop drinking and smoking but he never listened" he understands a lot of what is happeing. I pray for him everyday!

Today is one whole week they entubated him and connected him to he machines. One whole week that there has been no progess with his heath..

Yesterday we call our Aunt to see how things are and she said he opened his eyes but he doesn't see cause they put an objet near and far from him bbut his pupils don't react to anything.

Sad to see him in that state. They told my Aunt that they'll give him 4 more day to see if there is any improvement then they might have to turn off the machines.

I pray everyday for him.

Well i'm sorry i'm ending this post just like that. Not really in the mood to continue writing.

God bless you all!

Yael Emiliano

Hello, everyone, hope your all doing good! I am doing good :-)

I'm still waiting for the darn computer to get here. Stupid Multipack company has given me too many problems. I have called like three times already and still they haven't sent my package.

I got some good news. I finally got to meet my cousins baby. His name is Yael. He is such a handsome little boy. He slept almost all the time i was there but i took advantage of taooking a few pictures. Here are the photos i took.

Waiting....

Hello everyone, hope you all had a great weekend. I sure did.

Well for two weeks I have been waiting for a computer I ordered from my phone company Telmex. But it hasn't gotten here. I will be going today again to Telmex to see why it hasn't gotten here. I am going crazy without my computer. I need a computer to work better at home, I can watch tv series, update my blogger better, upload photos, send photos to family members and many other things. We'll see what happens today when I go to Telmex.

    Today is a great day, today Perla's baby boy Yael is born today, Perla had been a very great cousin, I considered her my sister. But then about 2 months ago, her sister, Perla and her mother have been mad at me for drinking at Perlas house with a few friends and family members while she was pregnant, the only reason we werwe drinking there was cause Perla called me and asked me to go over, shhe bought the beer and said it was ok for my friend to go drink there but guess she didn't tell that part to her parents, things got bad so I deleted my Facebook account and when I reactivated my account I deleter everyone from my page and just left my brother and sisters to keep in ttouch with them. And Perlas family took it personal and they have been mad at me since them. I apologized and asked to them to forgive me if I made them feel bad, but things haven't been the same since. I send Perla a message but she never answered. I feel sad that she won't answer. I had a gift for her baby boy but she never came for it. Guess there went a waste of money. Bad part is that a friend gave me that money to be able to afford the baby clothes. I told my friend she doesn't talk to me anymore and he just said to ignore her and move on with my life. That some people are just made to me mean. I still love her don't get me wrong. But I know that soome day she will call me asking me to go to the house for a few drinks, but I will do the same thing she is doing to me, i'll ignore her phone call.

   I really wish I could go a meet the baby but it looks like I won't be able to go. Not while they don't learn to let things go and move forward. I pray that they won't be needing my help one day, cause the way that I am I know I. will throw this at their face and tell them to get lost. I know it sounds mean but this whole situation just makes me angry.

    Their parents think that i'm the one that tells them to go out and drink, but honestly its the other way around. They used to call me almost everyweek and almost everyday to go over and have a few drinks. And it pisses me off that they don't tell that to their parents. They only say that it was me who tells them to go out. But me being an idiot always went when they called me, but not no more. I'm tired of this crap and all the problems it causes. They wanna ignore me I will do the same when they need my help.

    I pray that everything goes well with the birth of the baby and pray that Perla has good health to raise the baby right. I will always pray for them even when we are made at each other. I still love them cause we are family.

   I pray to God to help me with this anger I have right now, cause I know myself, I know I will go and drink it off. And thats wrong.

  I love you all, thanks for taking the time to read. God bless you all.   

RIP Nancy

Today as I was just finishing the cleaning at work, my uncle told me that our friend Nancy passed away early this morning. :-(

Nancy had cancer, not sure what type of cancer, but she had this cancer for almost 20 yrs or a little over then 20yrs. This cancer used to grown lumps in her back, arms, legs, almost her entire body, but with medication it was controlled. Her arm used to get very swollen and it was too heavy for her to she had to wear a bandage to have to carry her arm.

Inspiting her cancer, she was always smiling laughing and very active. She was the type of person that is friendly with everyone. She tought me to always be happy and thankful for everything we have.

This past year her cancer got worst, her medication wasn't working for her anymore. So she had to do chemotherapy. She lost all her hair, she lost lots of weight and at the end its like iif she lost her will to live. She didn't seem as happy anymore. In a way I understand, so many years fighting this cancer, guess she got tired of it. It makes me sad to have to say goodbye to such a great friend.

Aparte from her cancer, her own family was mean to her, her sisters wouldn't help her with bills, they never helped her while she was at the hospital, they never accompanied her to do her chemotherapys. That just makes me angery that they treated her like that. But she always had a smile on her face.

I don't have a picture of her in my phone, but as soon as my computer arrives I wiill search in my hard drive for a picturw to post.

I'll always have you in my heart Nancy. I'll always remember your great smile and your huge heart. I love you and will always miss you.
RIP Nancy 

Difficult being aparte from the family.

Hello, everyone! How are you all? Hope your are enjoying this Sunday afternoon, i'm just sitting here flipping the channels. Bored without a computer.

Unfortunantly my brother said that the laptops that I tried out are not good marcs. He said that HP laptops alwways tend to fail.  So, i'm still with no computer.

So I reopened my facebook acccount but I deleted almost everyone, just left a few people on the account. I reopend it cause I have been tweeting with someone is seems very nice. And well facebook is a better way to keep in touch, so I think. But like i've alwways said, you can't trust someone until you fully have gotten to know this person and most importantly met this person in person. I do have a little doubt but I also gotta let God try to guide me through this.

As I was looking through the post of my sister, I said a grave stone of a bear with the named of a baby, whos name I will not write for respect to my little sister. As I saw the stone there I just felt so horrible for not being able to be with her, for all thee things they have had to go through without us being there for them.

I hope theyy know how much we love them and care for them. And damm, how much we miss them. I thhink about them everyday that goes by.

I have missed so much in their lives, they've have had children, children that one day I would love to meet.

I know it has been difficult for them all. But i'm so proud of them for moving forward and living their lives.

And I also know that they weren't alone. And I wanna say thank you to all the family for being there for them this past 14, 15 years. Its amazing to see the support they have gotten from you guys.

And most of all. Thank you Lord for being there for them and helping them all in their journey that you have chosen for them.

I havve my hopes up that one day we will see each other. One day we will spent a whole day sharing and remembering many things. I look forward to that.

I have family here and I love them dearly, but theres noone like the people you spent your childhood with. I miss them all. Every single person who has ever been in my live I miss them very much.

Guys if your reading this please remember and never forget that I love you all and miss you all!

For the rest of my blog readers, I love you all too. I am grateful that I can come here and be able to share this journey with you all.

Take care everyone, God bless you all!

I'm going to eat pizza :-)

Just passing by!!!!

Hello everyone, hope your all are doing fine. i´m just here trying out new laptops, well they aren´t new, they are used. for now i can only offered used computers. So, i am trying them out to see if they are good for me. i  am going carzy without a computer in my house, i got photos i wanna upload. and they only way i can watch my baseball games is by using a computer. the television doesn´t always pass the games and i go crazy without watching my Rangers play.

So hopefully soon I´ll have a new computer and I´ll be able to upload more photos and be more in touch with all you guys.

Like i said before hope you all are having a great day if not, well thinking happy thoughts or read some jokes so you can laugh, thats helps me a lot. Love you all. Take care and God bless you all. 

Almost 7 months ago

Hey everyone, I know its late at night but I have someone in my head. My cousin Liz.

For those who don't know about Liz, she was diagnosed with kidney failure in October 2011. She was 19 back then. She had a beautiful baby girl named Alejandra Lizeth. Alejandra was barely 3yrs old back then. For almost a year Liz had her ups and downs with her sickness. In times she felt depressed and just wanted to give up. She went through dyalesis everyday 3 to 4 times a day for almost a year.

She was such a great girl. I loved her so much. I loved going over to vist and spent time with her. Even with her sickness she always had a smile, she always made us laugh.

I had about a month I hadn't gone to vist her, I only had comunication with her through Facebook and her brothers or parents. Then in the begining of September I had decided to go vist but I never gave myself the time to go vist her. Then on September 11 2012 I just had her in my mind for some reason, then September 12, I woke up thinking of her and wanting to call her or see her, but do to the way I work and always keep myself busy I didn't call or vist. Then at around 8:30pm my Uncle Omar came to the house and gave us the news that she had passed away. :-( I just broke in tears. I couldn't believe it. Till today its hard to accept. I spent the whole night at the funeral home with the family, I went home to sleep for about 2 hours then I went to work from 8am to 2pm. From work to thee funeral home for the service and the barerial. As soon as I saw her there in her coffin I just could be strong enough not to cry. The when they put her in the ground I just felt so heart broken, I couldn't contain my tears.

September 11 2012 was one of the worst days ever for me, it was a life changing event for me. I had never lost someone so close to me.

For some reason I have been thinking of her for the past few days, but right now I feel like its was September 12, like if I just recived the news of Liz. I miss her so much! Her baby girl is now 5yrs old, she is in Kindergarden. She is such a beautiful girl. She still asks for her mother. It breaks my heart to see Ale sad. But she still got her father and her grandparents.

Wish I could see her, wish I could of taken the time to go vist her or even call her. :-(

Well theres nothing I can do but ask God to help me with this pain I feel.

Its my bed time. I love you all. Thank you for taking your time to read. God bless you all! Goodnight!

Saturday April 06 2013

Hello everyone, hope your all having a great weeekend. Today the weather is cloudy and a bit windy. This weather makes me feel sad.

Last night while my brother and I were watching tv, we heard a loud noise while the train was passing.  We live very close to the train tracks so we hear just about every time the train passess, specially cause when it passes it passes by honking. We thought maybe the train was hooking up with another wagon. But thiss morning here at work, our clients are telling us that the train hit a lady. They don't know if she was trying to beat the train or just simply wasn't paying attention and didn't hear or see the train. She was injured very badly, here leg was all torn up. We don't know how she continues, praying she heals fast.

Other than that, well things are going great. I'm mean, I haven't felt depressed like I usually do, I have been getting up in the mornings and I feel great. I feel like I have something in life that awaits me. I hope there is something great along this long rough journey I have been through. I also know that I need to be a better person and change my lifestyle. I have been drinking a little too much lately. And I know it does affect my health but for some stupid reason I still do it.

Work been ok, sometimes there lotss of clients one day and the next its like noone comes, but I guess thats how businesss is now and days.

About our project we got going, well we're still working on that. Tons to do still, but I have my faith up that if I keep thinking positivily that we will get our project done. Cause have to work for someone else is hard and stressful. And plus i'm 28yrs old. I need to start doing something with my life if I wanna accomplish something.

This with the family well lets see, my father hasn't called me, but he has the time to call my uncle to tell him he wants to come but doesn't have money cause he wants to bring his grirlfriend and her son. Some of my cousins who idearly love and consider family are ignoring me, well I feel that they are ignoring me, they harrdly say hi or anything like that. But well i'm not gonna let that bother me. If they are mad at me well let be. I have more important things to think about than to be wondering if they ever wanna talk to me, all because of Facebook problems. Imagine that how the Internet can cause family problems. And believe me I know that i'm not the only one that has had family problems with facebook. But there nothiing I can, well I did delete my fb account. And maybe thats why i'm feeling less stressful and more happy more relaxed. Wow hadn't thought of that till now. 

Someone asked me if I discrimate certain people, I have always said to myself that I will not discriminate people just because of there color. Its like judging a book by its cover. I mean how can you get to know how good or bad a book is just by its cover.. Its the same with people, how can you get to know them if you reject them just because of their color. I love to meet new people, yeah at first I am shy but getting to know someone takes my shyness away :-) 

So its 12:12, who is thinking of me. :-) people here in Mexico say if you check the clock and the time are matching number that means that someone is thinking of you.

Its my lunch hour so i'm off to have some lunch i'm so freaking hungry cause I only had a cup of coffee and some cookies this morning. I orderedd some Tacos. I love eating tacos.

Have a great day and an awesome weekend. Always remember to thank God for everyday he has given and for everything and everyone in our lifes. I love you all, God bless you all!

Life

As I sit her thinking of  post to write I am also watching Wall-E i love this movie always . Just so amazing how much this cartoon teaches us so many things, yet they hardly say anthing during the movie.

Today I  noticed that most of the family went out to the family ranch and noone invited us. Sucks to have a family who doesn't think about you. But in a way thats ok. I've gotten used to not b missing invited to certain places specially when someone is mad ar you fr blocking them in facebook : this family sure does have huge comunicatonal problems, more trust issuses. Can't blame them. I don't even trust my own father.
I hate it when the family gets like this, just for something so small they all get mad. Come on people things could be worst. Guess I gotta learn to just live on my own and not depend on the family for help wheep my head in this project and Keep Moving Forward.

Today I didn't have to go to work So I got out of bed later then normal. I love staying asleep late. So when I decided to get out of bed. I spent my time cleaning my room washing bed and went to do some shopping and here I am:)

I wanna go out to drink, but I am waiting to see if my Friend Paty calls me :) She has become a very great friend. sucks to know she has breast cancer :( she says she doesnt wanna go through the chemo cause it seems too painfull. She says that when its her time it her time and that she wont fight to stsy here. She says drs told her she only has about 6 to 7 months to live.

I don't know if I can take some else so close to me to die. I'm still struggling with Liz's death.  I miss her too much. Wish I could do something to have her here with us again. She was barely 20 years old. She was too young. Liz's daughter is doing much better adapting to her mother not being around. She such a beautiful girl, she has her mothers smile. I love to see her smile.


I am barely 28 years old and I have seen alot happen through out the years. As one gets older you just start to see the world differently and also see many people leave us behind, people that have gone too soon. Just makes me wonder when will it be my time, I pray that its when i'm old and with grandchildren. I wanna have a family, i wanna get married and have children and see them grow  up and see them have their own children.

I would also like to see my brother get married someday, have his own family. I'll be called Aunt Diana, more likely tia Diana, I would of course spoil my  nieces and nephews. like my stepsister, Mayra has 2 girls and 1 boy, kKristi has 2 boys. Praying that we get to meet soon. I really need to get my passport in order. I miss the whole family from Texas. If you guys read my blog, just know that I love you all and miss you all.

Just another day

Hello everyone. hope your all are having a great day. i had an ok day. today we worked from 8am to 4pm. we have the rest of the week off. yeah. i needed some days off to relax and try to get my mind together.

today i just  finished watching the Rangers game against the  Diablos Rojos de Mexico. The score ended at 12-1 Rangers won. Mexico got their ass kicked today. I know I am a mexican but I will always support the Rangers. I wished they would of televised the game here, i had to watch it on gameday at the Rangers website.  i hope that they pass the  rangers games here is upcoming season

Righ now i am using my cousins tablet cause he brought it to see  if my brother could try to fix the charger, so i am taking advantage of the tablet and gonna try to upload some photos

So i couldn't upload the photos here on my blog, my brother says to try to use a Piacsa account, or something like that. i am gonna try it and see if from there i can share my photos.

So my brother corrected himself and told me it wad flickr not piacsa, i do have a flickr account so I'll try to upload the photos from there.

ok so i think i got it. heres the link for my flickr account. feel free to stop by and view the photos.  http://www.flickr.com//photos/dianallopezc/show/ 

If you guys have a problem view the photos please don't hesitate to tell me.

Thank you all for taking the time to read. love you all. may God bless you all. Its time for me to head to bed. Goodnight.

Facebook Account

Hello everyone. Hope you all are having a better week then I am.

I have had too many problems with my facebook account. People getting mad cause the jokes I post, or just post that simply are post and some people take them very personal when its not entended for them. Too much gosipp there that goes all around town.. I'm getting too frustrated and upset and depressed cause of all that. So I have made the desicion to deactivate my account for the time being. Maybe in the future I will reactivate it. For now I am only using my twitter and blogger account.

I haven't found a way to upload my photos from my camara to the blog from the tablet. I can't even write a post from the tablet to the blog. Well guess i'm not used to using the tablet. I used to always use my computer and now without a computer its harder to get used to the tablet. I have to get used to it cause that tablet and my phone are all I got to keep my blog up and use Internet.

Whos ready for Baseball? Meeeee i'm so ready for Opening Day to start. See how the Rangers do this season with out Josh Hamilton, Mike Napoli, micheal Young and other palyers. I have my doubts about them but I still do have my faith towards them wining this season. :-)

My brother hates baseball, but I love baseball. Usually I always watch the games all by myself.

About the project my brother and I are putting together is still being constructed. Almost there. I really need to open our business and start living and working for ourselves. I'm tried of working for orher people. I'm tired of having to work certain days when we're suppose to be off then we don't get paid extra hours. And i'm tired of people doing bad things at work and I don't wanna be part of that. And I know my brother is tired of working at the hardware store, he's been there almost 12 years.

On news on my dad, well I haven't heard from him since I went to vist him iin January. He doesn't call us, thatss old news, but an Aunt came to vist and she said he might came to live here, its just a matter of time that he comes. Hope he know there no room for him and his girlfriends family in our house. Sorry dad, you decided to leave once again and make yourself another life. We are moving on and making our own desiciones.

Well I guess thats all for today. I'll be here more often then I used too. :-) Hope you all have a great day. God bless you all.

Bad weekend

Hello everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend.

My Friday was going ok, then my friend Paty called and asked if I wanted to go and have some drinks. And of course me being me I said yes. So that night she went for me at my house and we went to a bar to drink. It was Paty her boyfriend, another friend, paty's son and me. We were having a great time. Then Party came up to me and told me she has about 6 to 7 months to live. I asked her why and she said she has breast cancer :-(  That just ruined my night. I just got depressed to know that she has cancer.

That whole night we both cried and share stories of our loved ones who are not with us. Her husband died of cancer and he oldest son also died of cancer and know she might die too. She has accepted her destiny, she acceptas it and she said she is gonna enjoy her last months trying to always be happy.

Me in the other just can't come to terms with that. She doesn't want to chemo or medications. All i can do is pray for her.

Its still hard for me to accept that cousin Liz isn't here with us. Its gonna be hard for me when Paty isn't here. She is a great friend. I enjoy her company.  I dearly love her.

Well guys thats how my weekend went.

I gotta get back to work. I will try to upload photos of a family reunion we had 2 weeks ago. Its harder to upload photos now that i have no computer :-(  but i sure ddo wanna share them. I love when the family gets together.

I love you all. Sending lots of love and prayers for everyone. God bless you all!

Baby Armando

Hello everyone, today i will share these four photos i took of three month old baby Armando i took yesterday.

Hope your all have a great weekend. Sending lots of love to you all! God bless you all.

Working

Hello everyone! Hope your all doing great. My. day at work is going ok. Except for the fact that i hit my knee against a metal box and now i got a bump with a bruise on my knee and it hurts. But other than that things are ok.

I should be working right now but there is hardly any work today :-) i like my job but i hate the fact that the workers steal things even money. I am afraid of coming forward cause one of the workers is my Uncle. I just hope we get our business together fast cause i don't wanna keep working like this. I have a little person in my head telling me its wrong to work like this.

On family news, well baby Armando is doing great he is such an adorable baby. He has a beautiful smile. I hope to post pictures of him soon. His brother Nelson is such a funny kid. He acomponied us at work a couple of day ago and i enjoyed having him here with us. Of nelson i took a few photos of him with my mobile phone.

Who is ready for Baseball season? I sure am. I love my Texas Rangers! Even though they are not having a great spring training games, but hopefully during the regular season they do better :-)

Well guys i gotta go, gotta act like i'm very busy here at work. Have a great day everyone. Sending lots of love. God bless you all.

Thinking

Hello everyone, hope your week has been going great. This is my second week at my new job and well lets say it ok. I just don't like the fact that the two other employees do some bad business with clientes without the bosses knowing. I need to move my butt to start my own business.

Other then that things have been going ok. Today i woke up thinking about my father. My father wasn't in our lifes much, we hadn't seen him in years, about 8 years straight. He always wrote to us telling us that when we are ttogether again he will spent as much time as he can with us. That he would give us a home to live in so we wouldn't need to keep paying rent.
When he finally came he didn't do much for us, he worked at his mother ranch to help built a little home for her. Then when he finished that, he worked for a little while as a carpenter then he decided to go to another state so he can have more work and get more money to help us built our home. But 3 years later he is still in Reynosa but now living with his girlfriend and 3 children.

I know he has the right to redo his life but come on, now he says he wants to built a home for his girlfriends family and him to come live in.  What ever happened to your two childrens home???

My brother has told me to ignore all that but thats just hard for me to ignore. So many years without, because of him we were forced tto move back to Mexico and live with family we barely knew. We were separated from our siblings.

Maybe I should just get my passport and visa in order and go try to live in Texas with my other siblings.

Well i guess all this is a little screwed up.  :-) At least i got my big bro with me. He drives me crazy but i don't know what i would do without him.

Well guess thats all for today. God bless you all!

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I got a job

Hello everyone hope your all having a great week. i finally got a job. Its at a hardware store. I am working with my Uncle. so its nice to be working family. I only want this job while we get our bussiness started. i am tired of working for other people. 

I still have no computer, right now i am using my cousins Tablet to post this. I guess i need to start saving up for a new computer. 

Things have pretty much been going ok. not much has happened around here. haven't heard anything about any cartel problems around here anymore. hope it stays like this for ever. 

well i gotta go, cause i can't write really well with this tablet. love you all and God bless you all.

Computer Broken Down

        Hello everyone. Hope your all having a great week. Well my week just sucks, mainly cause I have no computer to use. My darn computer just one morning decided not to turn on. My brother has tried just about everything. We even tried installing a new windows operating system, but it still doesn`t turn on. I think I may go crazy without a computer to use. Right now I am using a computer a cliente of ours left us to fix. I am taking the time to check for any errors in the system and so far so good :) 

       Today I am finally going to the bank to pick up my des employement money. Hopefully I get a good amount, atleast to last another month without a job. I put in some job applications but noone has called me. I am thinking of asking my Aunt Deisy to see if they still need me at their hardware store. I didn´t wanna work at the hardware store cause I already worked for 10 years in another hardware store but it thats the only job i can get for now until we can start our own bussiness  then heck I´ll take it. Cause seriously having no money sucks. Specially when you wanna go out and have some fun :) When you wanna buy yourself something you liked but can´t, thats an ugly feeling. 

      I know the bible says not to worry about this types of problems but how can I not worry about the rent payment coming up, about the monthly bill. About my credit card debt. I am trying so hard to keep my head up. But there are moments where I just wanna throw the towel and take a time out, but in this life that isn´t possible. Gotta  find ways to stay positive. Guess in a way this blog keeps my head high. And specially all the people i have met through Twitter. Its amazing how people you´ve never met encourage you to keep your head high. Ï would never wanna change any of that. I love you all. Thank for always encouraging me to keep my head high. 

        I´ve been reading the bible lately and a question keeps poping in my head. How do you find the strenght to forgive someone so close to you that has caused a lot of harm to you. I´ve though of forgiving this person but it feels like i would be accepting the harm he did and just taking it and foret about it. But thats too hard for me. Cause what this person did really did make our lifes difficult. 

    I am guessing that my main reason for not forgiving him is cause i have too much anger against this person. I know anger makes you not live life the happily. I just can´t find the way to move forward. I just pray to God to help me with this. 

    In other things, NKOTB got out a new single and I love it. I hope they do a South America Tour for this new Cd they are gonna get out. And if they do and I have a job and have the money I am gonna take another chance to go see them again. I loved that i got the chance to go see them at the concert in Monterrey. Thats a day  I will forget. I had a great time specially meeting some twitter friends.  Some people just don´t understand the love i have for this five guys. Specially for Donnie Wahlberg. I love him so much. Just makes me smile writing about him. I love his quotes, love he fact that he takes time to tweet and to meet us. I pray that one day i get one of those hugs he gives out. They seem so relieving. Just like if he takes a weight of your shoulders and just makes it disappear. I would love to feel that one day from him. He´s a special man. A man that i would love to have. Too bad i will never have him for myself :) but i would love to meet him one day.

       Well for today I got no photos to share, specially cause my computer doesn´t work and this laptopn doesn´t read usb. And theres the thing that I haven´t taken any interesting photos lately But maybe next time i have my coputer fixed and have had the time to take pictures I will share with you guys. 

         Guess thats all for today. Love you all. And thank you all for taking the time to read. God bless you all. Sending lots of love and prayers for every single one of you guys. 

Sunday!!!

    Hello everyone! Hope your all enjoy your Sunday! I am just here waiting for a phone to see if my cousins and I will be getting together just to spent some time, have some beers and some Bar-B-Que :) 

   I could really use a few beers. Yesterday I just felt so depressed. On Friday my brother got home all mad, why, I'm guessing because he had to stay one hour more at work then usual. When he gets like that he just ignores me completely, like if I don't exist. Since Friday night we haven't spoken to each other. Sucks because we live together and we only have each other. Things shouldn't be like this. Jut gotta pray that we fix whatever it is that is keeping him from talking to me! 

   Not much has happened around here. Expect for the fact that I won't be given any English classes anymore. Not given me a good income and my brother wants me to find a job, so I am gonna go out on Monday and try to find a job. I don't ant a job, I want to be my own boss. I wanna have my own hours of work, but for mow it can't be possible. 

   I know more than ever that I need to keep my head up and trust God with everything. Like the Bible says gotta seek God before seeking anything else. If I have God in my life he provides us with everything we need. 

   I've been thinking alot about the man who has stolen my heart. I just can't get him out of my head. And this what I am feeling for him is wrong. I know its wrong, thats why I haven't taken any step to keep in touch with him. This man is a married man, and I don't wanna be the cause of him and his wife to separate. And plus I've also told myself that I will never go out with a married man. So Thats the main reason why I haven't go out with him. I need to find a way to just stop thinking of him.

   In other hand I got a message from my Ex on New Years and on my Birthday. He seriously doesn't get the fact that I don't want to know anything about him. I'm over him. I actually gotten to the point here I just hear his name and I just get all mad. I have lots of hate towards him. Lost a lot of time with him. Too many chances I gave him and he still managed to break my heart. So I am planing when I get enough money, I am gonna get a new phone number. Only gonna give this number to my brother and family members. That way I won't get any messages from Him or this other man I am trying to get out of my head. 

   Well guys just wanted to stop by and write a few lines :) Wish all the best in everything you do. Sending lots of love to you all.  Have a great day! 

Trip to Reynosa and meeting Camila

          Hello everyone, well on Friday I went to Reynosa, Tamaulipas  to go vist my father, now that he hasn't came to vist in 2 years. It was a 4 hour trip in bus. I went with Grandma and 2 of her sister in laws. Thank God we arrived to our destination safely.

         While we were there Dad took me to a lot of different stores just to see what I like and to get to know the city. I finally got to meet his new girlfriend. Weird they've been dating for almost 3 years and I am barely meeting her.

        Our cousin Mario took his little brother and his family to vist us all the way from McAllen  Texas. He has a 14 day old baby girl, Camila Alexandra she is so beautiful. He also has a 2 year old baby boy, Mario Alexander. Here are a few photos I took of their vist.

Camila Alexandra

Mario Alexander 

          Camila slept through the whole photo session :)  But I'm happy I got to meet her. Grandma was also so happy to see them and meet them.

        Well guess unfortunately I gotta go to a Memorial Services, one of my grandmothers sister passed away yesterday.

         Love you all! God  bless you all!   

Birthday Reunion

Hello, everyone! Hope your all are having a great day!! On Wednesday night almost all the family got together for my birthday :) I had a great time. Here are a few photos of that day!

Me with a new hair do :)

Uncles and male cousins

My Grandmother and I 

My Aunts

Aunts and Female Cousins

Female Cousins

Me the next day with straight hair, don't usually wear it like this :) 

I had an awesome day that day, got a new look, got to spent time with family. I am so blessed to have a huge family. Thank you Lord for everyone and everything you have given me.