New years!!!

    Well hello everyone, Hope you all are enjoying your time with all your friends and family. I in the other hand am getting prepared to go to the family ranch to spent New Years over there!!! Gonna have so much fun. I love it when we get together as a family and just enjoy some time. Even though my father won't be there, but honestly I enjoy myself better when he isn't around. Just another year he doesn't come to vist us. Its nothing new to us anymore.

    I have been trying to get a look at the good things that have happened  this year, but for some reason I keep looking back at just the bad things. Like my cousin passing away, guess I'm still dealing with that. For some reason I just can't seem to accept it. I miss her too much.  Its gonna be hard to say goodbye to this year and welcome to the year 2013 without her. I miss you Liz!!

   Another bad thing, I'm gonna start this year without a job and without any money!!!! That has to change. I am tired of asking my brother for money to be paying the bills and food. I can't even go out anymore cause I got no money to go enjoy myself.

   Another bad thing, Its another year I didn't see my brother and sisters. I miss them very much. I need to find a way to change this. Almost 14 years not being able to see each other. I miss you guys!!

  Another bad thing!!! I have no boyfriend!!!!  Sucks!!! Maybe this 2013 will be a better year for my love affairs :) I am in need of a great man in my life!!! Someone as kind and loveable as Donnie Wahlberg and as handsome as Taylor Kinney!!!! Not saying that Donnie isn't handsome, but lately I have gotten this crush on Taylor, too bad he is dating Lady Gaga :)

  Good things!!!!! We welcomed new members to our huge family! I love to see the family getting bigger!! Isn't it amazing to see how a family gets bigger each year!! In January we will welcome a baby girl named Valentina!!! She is a cousins second baby in his family. Then in around May or June we will welcome a baby boy, no name just yet!! He will be my cousins first baby!! Makes so happy to be surround by kids!!! Maybe one day I will have kids of my own!!

   Another good thing!!! We are  still here, we made it another year!! Good or bad we should always be thankful for being here!!! As hard as life may get we should always remember that God has us here for a reason. Sometimes we may hate the way our life has turned out to be, but we're still here. We gotta learn to enjoy everything and everyone around us. And I say we because I also need to learn to appreciate what I have.

    Another good thing!!!! I finally got to go to a NKOTB concert!! and I loved everyone minute of it. I got to meet new people, I got to forget all my troubles during the concert. And I finally got to see Donnie Wahlberg. It would of been better if I had a Meet and Greet with DDub, but it didn't happen. Maybe another time :)

    Tomorrow is gonna be a day of pure drinking :) I am gonna try to control myself. Take it slowly :) We will be staying at the Ranch all day and all night long. Won't be returning home till Tuesday afternoon :) I just hope everything goes well. And pray that there will be no family fights like there normally is.

  Well guess this is my last post for this year. Next year I'll be posting the photos of the family getting together to end this year and start the next. I pray that you all enjoy your time with your family and friends! Thank you all of you who take the time to read my blog. I love you all! God bless you all!!! Like Ddub says LoveEternal!!!

   

Bad luck

Talk abourt bad luck. My phone can no longer take photos, i can't even listen to music on it any more. My purse, only purse I've got is no longer useful, the damm zipper is broken. I have no job, no money. And i spent almost all day alone in my house almost everyday. And now my freaking computer monitor is no longer works. Just freaking great. I dont freaking need this right now... Why when i have no money this stuff has to happen.. I feel like i'm gonna have a heart attack. I am out of here, gotta. Think how the f*** am i gonna do to fix this damm problems.

Love you all. Take care. God bless you all

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Merry Christmas to all!!!

      Hello everyone, hope you all had a great Christmas with all your family and friends!!!

      I had a great day today at the family ranch! The older woman :) made tamales!!! I love tamales. We had a great time with some of the family cause not all the family went to the ranch. I also had a chance to take photographs, specially of baby Emanuel, well his full name is Armando Emanuel, but everyone is calling him Emanuel. He is 23 days old today. And he is so gorgeous. I'll be posting a few photos of him.

      This year for me Santa didn't come. I only received one gift today. An Uncle bought me some pair of tennis shoes :)  In a way I am sad because I feel like nobody remembered me, but in a way thats good. Cause I need to learn to accept what I have and be grateful for the things that will come. I should only be worried about staying in a good path.

       Here are a few photos that I took today! Enjoy.

Emanuel Drinking his Milk

23 days old and already starting to hold his head up

I love this beautiful eyes!!!

Making Tamales

Grandmas house at the ranch

          Like I've said before, I'm not a great photographer but I try my best :) I took a lot more photos but I only feel like sharing this, sorry!

         My Aunt Carmen went with us to the Ranch. She is about in her 40's but she can no longer see. She has to do dialysis. I feel very sad for her. Today she even felt bad cause her daughters take time off to take care of her, she even started crying saying she wishes she could see. And that she doesn't like going out to places cause they have trouble with her dialysis. She said she is just a burden to her daughters. But we all talked to her and told her she is no burden to anyone.

       She is just a huge miracle from God, she almost has left us twice already. Drs had already told us that we should all be prepared cause she could die any day. This was 15 months ago!!!! Wow, God is Great!!

Aunt Carmen holding Emanuel

 Well guess guess this is all for today! Thank you all for taking your time to read. I love you all. Merry Christmas to all!!!

Sick in bed?

Hello everyone, hope your all have been enjoying this week.

I have been sick in bed since Wednesday! Sucks, i caught a bad cold, i got a runny nose, i got a bad cough and my throat is killing me. At least i didn't get a fever. I hate being sick.

I haven't gone to vist my little cousin Emanuel, cause i don't want him to catch my cold. But i do hear he is doing very good!

What do you guys think about this whole End of the World deal??? I honestly gotta say that God decides when the world comes to an end. Alot of people go crazy about it but i just didn't think about. Mainly cause i got a cold to deeal with right now :-)

I went out on Saturday, i drank way too much, didn't get home till Sunday at around 9am or 10am.. I drank like i had never dranken. I mean i even drank whiskey start from the bottle. In a way i am mad for drinking like that, but seriously need to go out and have some fun. Hopefully next time i don't drink like that!

Well guys i gotta go, i'm starting to get sleepy, guess its the medication i'm taking. Love you all.

Enjoy your weekend!!

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Thursday Dec. 13 2012

Hello everyone! Hope you all enjoyed your day. I have been ok, just worrying my ass off cause of all my debts.

Have any of you guys ever felt like someone is mad at you just by walking into the same room they are in? Cause I have, lately I go into a room and a certain person either walks away or just ignores me or simply try to get me out of the room as quickly as possible. Normally I would just ignore a situation like this, but this person is someone who I respect fully and I have never done anything bad to this person. I have no idea what this persons problem is. Honestly I haven't asked this person why they have been acting like that, don't wanna make things worst. Like i've always say, you don't like me just tell me and we can the problem. But is you don't say anything I can't fix anything.

I am so sure I have depression, lately I haven't had that urge to go out and meet with people, much less go vist anyone. I stay in bed till like 10am when I used to always be up by 6am. I have trouble sleeping at night. Gotta try to get that fixed. Needd to stay positive!

I had a very worried dream last night. That I was with a man, this man I certainly do know him, but I don't know why I dreamed about. This dream was great, won't share details, sorry.  Burt its just worried for me to have a dream like that even a lot more worrried that is was with this certain man!! Maybe something will happen with us soon :-)

Lately this darn phone has been giving me too many problems. It never gave problems when I was working but now with no job, can't afford for me phone to go dead on me now...

Well guys I am leaving you guys for today. Remember to always give thanks to the Lord for all we have. I love you all. Lots of love you everyone!

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Just another day of worries!!!

   Hello everyone. Another wee begins, hope you all are enjoying this Monday! I well not as much. I'm too worried about the money I need to get together by Friday! No one has come forward with trying to buy my Video Camcorder. Sucks!!! Guess I'll have to go to a pawn shop. They are the only one that can help me. Who knows how they are gonna give me for it but I pray that its the amount I need for me to pay me debts of the month. Other news well I got no other news. Just the fact that this morning I got up at 7am to make lunch for my brother to take to work and then at 8pm I went back to bed to just sleep a few more minutes, well a few more minutes become two more hours :) Oops over slept. But I also read that over sleeping like that is caused by depression. Yeah I got depression. Just freaking Great! In a way I understand that I got depression cause of no job no money and mainly no one to help me out, well except my brother :) But just with my brothers help I know we won't get by. We really need to get our butts to work to finish this project we got going, cause if this projects works out we can be getting by little by little. Praying to God to help us.    

  I didn't go any where this weekend, got no invitations from any one. O well, its good in a way. My alcohol record is going great. No alcohol for the past 3 months. Yeah for me. I cheer myself cause no one in the family is cheering for me :)

   Yesterday Mexico got some bad news, The great Diva Jenny Rivera has passed away. I wasn't a huge fan, but I do admit her music was great. I had the opportunity to go see her at the concert on Saturday but do to my financial situation I didn't go. That was her last concert she gave. The news said that her plane crashed in Galeana thats about 2 hours away from our city. Some people are posting comments on the Facebook pages about her being kidnapped, but I have no idea who is telling the truth, cause her plane did crashed. I just leave it in Gods hands, if she has passed away, I pray for her soul to be at peace, If she is kidnapped I Pray that she is returned safely to her family.

   On this topic I wonder how Mexico will be this upcoming year with the New President Enrique Pena Nieto. Man are saying that things will get worst, others say that things might just get a bit better. I just want things to be like before. Where we could go out, any where without having to be fearing for your life wondering if you'll get kidnapped or mugged ort accidently kill. Believe me its very scary having to live like that. Even though things here in Linares Nuevo Leon have calmed down for now, hoping not to jinx things. :) No more gun fires going on, no more kidnappings, well that I have heard of. Before I used to hear a lot because of where I worked at, but now I'n usually home so I don't really get much news about those things. Which in a way is better cause I don't have to be worrying about all the time :)

  Wish I could have a genie here with me where I could just ask for a wish and things will get better. But all that is fantasy. Need to stay in the real world and try to stay positive. You know what I just realized, the freaking Internet signal just went away. I'm writing like crazy and who knows hen the damm Internet is gonna return :( That frustrates me!!!!

  Well I'm gonna stop writing for now. Love you all. Thank you to you all who take the time to read. God bless you all. Lots of love for you all!!!

Just thinking

Hello, everyone! Hope you all are having a great weekend. I'm just sitting in front of the tv watching some movie with Dakota Fanning :-) sorry don't know the title. I have been with the anxiety of having a few beers. I know to me that saying a few beers isn't really a few beers. I have to learn to control myself with the drinking. Even though I haven't had a drop of beer for the past 3 months, but I am so desperate for beer right now. I just hope nobody comes for me tonight to go out cause I am gonna end up having a lot of beers.

I haven't gone to vist baby Emanuel but maybe tomorrow I give myself the time to go vist and take more photos.

Have any of you ever felt like your alone? I am in this situation of no job, no money and now noone comes to vist, noone calls to go out. But before when I had money and a job, o had many vists and invitations now noone is around. Guess I find out who really are my friends.

Well i'm off for today, i'm writing from my cellphone right now, i'm trying out the blogger andriod app. :-) well love you, hope you all have a great weekend. God bless you all. Love to you all!

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Photos of Baby Emanuel

Hello Everyone! Its a beautiful day today! Hope everyone is having a great day. So yesterday I got the chance to go vist my Uncle and his new born baby boy, they are finally home, good thing I live one block from my house :) The baby is so beautiful. He hasn't really given me the chance to fully see his eyes, they say they are beautiful. Maybe in a couple more days he will open them when I'm there. I took so many photos. When I got there they handed me the baby and his big brother looked at me and said "Your not gonna take him cause he is my little brother" Isn't that cute. I told him if he would give it to me, his dad told him that I was gonna take him to my house and he looked at me with sad eyes and just said no, he was about to cry when I told he that I am just there to vist and to take pictures. Big brother got a chance to hold him and he even let himself be photographed with his little brother. Its great how he says its his little brother, he also says he is gonna take care of him and play with him. Hopefully he will always say that. Cause its beautiful to have a big brother to look up and who takes care of you. Baby's mom is doing ok, she is at the house but she is still recovering, she says she is still in pain but that she'll be fine. She is a great mother towards her kids. I pray that she feels better soon so she can take care of little baby cousin. Grandma was so happy to see the baby home, she has so many grandchildren but she loves us all the same. I'm so proud to have a grandmother like her. I know I don't always go vist her but that doesn't mean I don't love her. I love her dearly. She was there when neither of our parents were around. She is a great grandmother. Next I will post some of the photos I took, I think I took around 90 photos :) I got too excited taking photos. I'm not a great photographer but I try my best. So here are the photos.

Mommy with her two babies!

Big brother with little Brother!

Comparing his hand with baby brothers hand!!

Laying down next to baby brother!

Baby Emanuel

Grandma with Grandson

Joelin looking at baby Emanuel!

Looks like Nelson (Big Brother) is telling Joelin not to touch his little brother (Emanuel) :)

Grandma Feeding Emanuel!

Baby Emanuel enjoying his meal :)

Should I get the ball, no I'll going running and kick it to Diana's camera and almost break it :)

Here I'll help you clean up the mess I left :) He is such an adorable little guy. Love you little man! These are just a few photos I took yesterday! Hope you all enjoyed them. Its great to know that the family is getting bigger. It feels amazing to be surrounded by all the little ones. God has given us all the chance to be guides to this little kids. I my self don't have any kids of my own but I love every single one that come into the family. Thank you Lord for all the little ones you give us. Thank for giving me such a big family. Well guess thats all for today. Love you all., have a great day everyone! Always remember to be Thankful for everything and everyone around you, they are all there for a reason. What reason may that be? Only God knows. Once again thank you all for taking your time to read. I love you all Take care! Sending lots of love and praying to everyone!

Meeting Emanuel!!!

Hello everyone. Well yesterday I got the opportunity to meet Emanuel our new baby cousin. I didn't get to take picture but hopefully today they come home and I will take many photos of baby Emanuel. He weighted 4 kilos, thats a big baby and a gorgeous baby. His cry was so sweet. I fell in love with him right away. His mom is doing ok, she had to have the surgery so she is still recovering. While we were visiting, the security lady was just so rude, she had us wait outside of the waiting room cause we were so many visiting the patient, what's wrong with the patient having a big family and we all wanna vist her. The visiting hours are just from 3:30 to 5:30 and we were like 15 to 20 people wanting to go into the room. But of course we had to go in by two's no more then 2 people are allowed in the rooms. So the vist had to be short for everyone. Then when our grandmother came outside to give chance to someone else to go into the room to vist she said that while she was walking towards to doors the security lady told her to walk faster cause there's alot of people waiting to go inside, Grandma told her if she was talking to her and the lady answered yes to hurry it up, but grandma told her that if she could run she would run. What a B*tch that lady was. She sees a 70's old lady walking slowly with a cane, doesn't that give her a clue that she can't walk any faster.!!! I felt like going back at her and giving her a slap in the face. But then it was my turn to go inside. I stayed there for about 5 minutes holding the baby and talking to the mommy. As I was walking out the doors the pushed the door really hard on purpose and they ending up hitting the security lady :) I just walk by her and said sorry I didn't see you :) No one talks to my grandma like that!! After visiting hours were over we went to an Aunts house to have coffee and cookies. She has a small store where they sell lots of Corn, chips with cheese and jalapenos and many other snacks. Delicious!!! She had lots of clients. Thats great that she has a small business. We talked a little than we headed back home. My brother is working on getting the shelves done for our new business project we got going. Praying all this works out great cause I honestly don't wanna get another job where some else is telling me what to do. I wanna be my own boss. The bad part is that he is doing this at night when he gets here from work. I told him he should of worked on it over the weekend that he had days off, but he didn't want to. I love my brother, I have no idea what in the world I would do without him, I know that at some point either he or I will get married and have to live apart, but I will always be watching and making sure he is ok. Hopefully he does the same for me :) My brother and I have been through a lot this past 14 years, but we have always sticked together. I thank God everyday for giving me brother like him. He may get on my nerve's but I still and always will love him. Well heading out. Have a great day everyone! God bless you all. Sending lots of love to you all!!

Happiness!!!

Well hello everyone, I've got some great news!!! Yesterday night a little new member was born into this family, his name is Emanuel. I haven't gone to vist cause visiting hours aren't till 3:30 this afternoon. Hopefully I'll be able to take tons of pictures of him. Now I have another little cousin to go crazy about with taking tons of photos, I love photography. It just brings my mood up, makes me happy and not worry too much about my debts. Its amazing how one little baby can bring us up and bring the whole family together. This is a picture sent to my phone by my uncle, he intruduced me to Emanuel last night. Isn't he gorgeous.

In other news today is my nieces 4th birthday! Thank you Lord for this amazing little person who you have allowed us to be with. Unfortunately for me I haven't gotten the opportunity to meet her. But I pray everyday and keep my faith in God that one day we will be able to see meet each other and be together with the rest of the family. I miss them all so much. I'm grateful for Facebook, we keep in touch through Facebook :). I pray that she has a great day on her day. I know we haven't met but I love her so much. Her she is posing for a picture. She is just so beautiful!

Seeing little kids makes me wonder if I'll ever get married and have some of my own, I'm gonna turn 28 in January, If God allows me to. Wow feels like I'm getting old. I would love to be a mother someday. Have a child to look after and to give tons of love to. I gotta be patient and trust that God will send me a little angel someday, but of course he will also have to send me the right man to be with :) Another cousin of mine, Perla, is pregnant I believe she is 5 months pregnant. So far the doctor says it will be a little boy, but he is not sure just yet cause the baby won't stop moving around :) I think thats great, either a boy or a girl are both welcome into this family. I'm so happy for her, she has been wanting a baby since she got married, one year ago :), Her mom wanted her to have a little girl cause she wants to have a granddaughter, now that she has one grandson she says she need a little girl :) I think it doesn't matter what she has as long as its a healthy happy little baby. God is the one who decides what he sends us. She has been having trouble holding down food, so today she is going to the doctors to get a check up and to see what he recommends. I tell her she can't be taking any medicine cause it might harm the baby, but she says she is getting desperate with all the food she throws out. I'll be praying for her as always! well I'm done for now. I love you all, Thank you for taking your time to read. God bless you all! Sending lots of love to you all! Twugs!

Credit Cards, bad idea for me!!!!!

Hello everyone, Here I am again, just stressed out and worrying myself out with all the debts that I owe. How come the banks give out Credit cards to anyone with a job. I mean yes I had a great job, I lasted there almost 10 years, then just one day my boss goes in the office and fires me cause he can't pay me anymore. What kind of lame excuse is that. Ten freaking years that he spent his time telling me that I was very important for his business, that he will never let me go cause I know how the business runs already. Now here I am trying to find a new job, which is hard in this times cause Christmas is coming up and most business aren't hiring right, at least not till next year, but I need a job fast!!! I owe at least 3000 Dollars to the banks. Some may say its not too much but here in Mexico its around 35,000 Pesos. I am so scared of what may happen if I miss a payment, on top of that my brother and I pay rent plus all the other normal bills. And my brother doesn't make as much as I used to be making, but the important things is that he is helping me out by paying all the bills and the food we eat. But I can't really ask him to pay my debts. I've even tried getting students to come to me for English classes, cause I live in Mexico and well English is now given to every school here and I wanna offer my services to any student who needs help in English plus I could charge for my services. But no one has yet came forward. Now I am trying to sell my Sony CCD-TRV138 Hi8 Handycam Camcorder w/20x Optical Zoom which I bought when I was working. I love my camcorder but I have to do something to get money to pay at least some bills. Wow I never though I would have to do something like that. But guess thats life, gotta get by some how. Some way I gotta get out of this darn hole I'm in. God is my answer, I can't find any other answer to be able to get out of this hole. I believe in him, I believe that he is teaching me a lesson here. Gotta keep my ears and eyes open to all that he is teaching me. I blame my bank for giving me the 2 credit cards I have :) But I blame myself for over using them. O well what is done is done, just gotta keep my head up high and hope that find the money on the street :) no I've never been so lucky, but gotta keep searching for a job!! Well I gotta go gotta start thinking about what I'm gonna make for lunch and make it before my brother comes home for lunch from work :) , Love you all, sending you all lots of love! God bless you all!

Remember Lizeth!!!

Hello everyone! Hope everything is going well with you all! I'm just here at home just doing nothing pretty much :) Just thinking!!! Last night I was remember my cousin Lizeth. She passed away 44 days ago. I miss her so much, she was barely 20 years old. too young to have left this world. She has a beautiful baby girl, who has been having a very hard time accepting and understanding all this that has happen. She still ask why did God have to take her! Its just breaks my heart. My aunt is so devasted. She hardly ever has a day where she cries, but its good to cry, Right? I just keep them all in my prayers. I remember that we used to get together to go to her house at night and have a few beers and have dinner with her. She always accepted us in her house. Her husband is a great man. Its just hard for him still. They got married very young. She was barely 16 years old. Me well I look at picture of Lizeth and it just brings tears to my eyes, I miss her too damm much. Wish I would of taken more time to go vist her. Man when I saw her in the coffin I just broke down. This has been the first time I have never lost a close family member that I loved so much. I pray that doesn't happen for a very long time. In a way I feel I should of been prepared but how do we prepare for something like this. The doctors had told her she didn't have much time left cause her decease had taken control of all her mayor organs. She was retaining too much water. When I got the news I just cried and prayed for her. Still talking about her brings tears to my eyes. Its too freaking hard to accept. Sometimes I go near her house where she used to live, I sometimes look out the window of the bus, just to check that she is there but then reality hits me and I remember that she is no longer her with us. I have that feeling that maybe she will come knocking at my door to go out like we used to before. But I know thats not gonna happen but its just a feeling that takes over me. Sometimes I tell myself that its all a dream and that she is at her house like any other day, but I also gotta remind myself that she is gonna, that I saw her body in the coffin. I have lots of photo albums and I starting looking through them and I saw pictures of Lizeth when she was smaller, times when we used to go to the family ranch and spent days over there, she was always smiling, almost every photo I got of her she comes out smiling. I miss that. wish I could go back in time and just change things. Help her or do something for her. Sometimes I feeling like I'm losing my faith in God, cause I prayed everyday for her but he didn't heal her, well he healed her in a way we didn't want. I wanted her to stay here with us, for her to be able to see her daughter grow up. To be here and always see her smile. At the same time I know that God is in charge, I Believe that he has certain reason why this things happen. And I gotta learn to maintain my faith in him. I know that through him everything is possible and that one day we will see her again. Well just wanted to share this with you guys. Have an awesome day. God bless you all. Lizeth I love you and miss you too much. RIP cousin!!!

This was one of the last photos taken of her. Here she is with her mother at the family Ranch.

Wednesday October 24 2012

Here I am sitting in my computer desk, waiting for my brother and uncle to get here with some Tacos they were gonna bring like half an hour ago!!!. Its 11:06pm and we are barely gonna eat dinner, well they were busy putting up the wall that divides my brothers room and the store we wanna start. Praying all goes well with this project we have in mind. I've always wanted to start my own business maybe this is the right time to start. Me being fired may have just came in the right time for me to start the business who knows. I have faith in this project we wanna do cause I am so freaking tired of having to work for other people. I wanna have my own business, I wanna be my own boss. I wanna be a bigger person than what my father ever was. I wanna be able to have my own income. Of course i just don't do this because of the money I mean I don't always wanna have to be looking for a job, I wanna secure my future if I ever have kids I wanna have a future that they can lean on. Of course I know it won't be easy getting started but I have faith we can do this. I really want this to happen. Just about three weeks ago I got to talk with my cousin Jason over the phone. Man it felt great talking to him. I said I was gonna call him the following Sunday but I just haven't found the time to do so. I am hoping I can call him this Sunday. I miss him alot. I miss everyone from over there. Wish things never had gone the way they did. I wonder if maybe I would be a different person if I was still living over there. Would I be married, would I have children. would I have an education??? Too many questions... I miss my brother and my sister. Man I am an Aunt and I haven't gotten to meet my nieces or nephews. That really sucks. I miss Mariann my step mother. She may have been mean but she was there she is a mother to me. She is a great person. a strong person. Raising the kids and going through what she went through just makes me wanna be like her. I just hope she knows that I love her and she means a lot to me. Maybe someday we get the chance to talk to each other. I know that the family here in Mexico hates her, but I don't.I pray for her everyday. I miss those days, going to the beach, going fishing. I still remember our last vacations we took to San Antonio. I loved that trip. its was an unforgettable trip. Well I gotta go cause the tacos are finally here...see you all later...God bless you all. Goodnight

Photos!!!

Here are some picture I have taken this month and last month :) This here is my cousins son, he has grown so much!!!

This little guy turned one on Sept- 18-2012 Happy Bday Joel!!

With his momma!!

Getting on top on the cake... he really wanted that cake :)

With his grandpa, showing how many years he is now :)

This here is Lizeth Alejandra, she is my cousins Liz baby girl! Just wish her mother was here to see her. I miss you lizeth.

This here is Mario Alexander, my cousins Marios baby boy. We finally got to meet. He is about to become a big brother. Hopefully i get some photos her :)

Joels feet couldn't reach :)

Nelson being a little goofy!

Lizeth's 4th birthday. Wish her momma was here to see her :(

Lizeth with her grandparents. They were sad cause their daughter couldn't be there to see her baby girl turn 4 years old!

Wow Somebody got lots of cash on her bday :)

My aunt with her first grandson, Joel :)

My aunt with her son!! Well thats all the photos for today!! Love you all take care!!

Rough three weeks

Well hello everyone! Its been three weeks since i last had a job! Its freaking hard to get a new job, specially when the holidays are getting closer! I have no money with me, cause me idiot ex-boss still hasn't paid me. I called him up yesterday and he said I should have the check by the end of the week! It better be true cause I earned that money in 10 years of work!! My brother has this idea of starting our own business, now that we both know alot about how to mange a hardware store. So we are gonna give that a shot and see how things turn out! We will be needing lots of prayer and patience with all this. I love my brother, he told me it wasn't necessary for me to find a job so soon. to take some time off and just rest after 10 years of working. So he is paying all the bills for us, now that we live together, he just asks for me to have lunch made, have his cloths clean and to clean up the house. I love that, but I am used to having a job, I am used to having my own money. I told him i need a job and he just tells me to wait. I have put in so many applications but all the business say that I should wait till the year is over cause thats when they start hiring new workers. My father hasn't called or texted me in wow I can't even remember when, well he texted me when my cousin passed away but just to tell me he could make it to the funereal. He does know I am without a job cause my grandmother told me she called him and told him, but its like if he doesn't even care, its like if we don't exist to him. Well thats i feel in times well all the time. I haven't had a beer wow in such a long time. I know its been more than a month without a beer. Even though i do have that desire to go out and drink but the only thing stopping me is not having any money. :) Even if I start drinking whenever I have money, i am gonna take it very slow in the drinking. I actually feel great not being hungover, I know my health has improved since i haven't drunken any alcohol. This past three weeks that i am without a job and money ha really help me see who really is a friend and who really are my family members. Most of the family has only asked about the money i am getting from being laid off. they don't really say "things will be ok or something will come up or if you need anything call us" and people who i considered my friends have disappeared, no more phone calls to parties or trips. I know one person who will never forget about and thats God! I know he is always with me and all this is happening for a reason. Sometimes i wish God would just come and explain to me all the events I've been through. As much as i hate them, i need to learn to accept them too. 14 years ago was when everything changed for me. My father ended up in jail, moving from the only place i consider home to a total different country. From one family to another family who i even didn't know. Getting accidently shot in the head, which i still got the bullet in my head and i am so Thankful that God didn't let it get any further than where it stopped. Those are some of the events that mostly made a huge change in my life. There are others but these are the ones that i wish i could get an explanation for. But i trust God!! Maybe some day he will explain to me or maybe its just not meant to be explained. I trust you Lord with everything I just ask for you to give patience to accept all this and to guide me to whatever you have prepared for me! Well i am gonna go for today. Hoping i blog more often now that i got free time in my hands :) Love you. Thank you for taking your time to read this!! God bless you all!

Bummed!!!

Wow, just hen I thought things were starting to go well life just throws back to the ground..So today I get a phone call from my Grandma saying she has made lunch for my brother and I to go pick it up at lunch time. Si we go say Hi eat lunch with her, then she says our father is coming home soon that he needs a place to stay and needs some medication because he is sick from his eyes. Which pisses me off cause he hasn't been there for us for the past 15 years!!!! I mean come on, when he needs our help has the right to ask for it.. So we just agreed that we will accept him but we may have fights once in a while. This whole time I was saying to myself well at least I'll be at work all day, won't have to see him till I'm off work at 6pm. So i accepted that and just went off to work.. Then we get to work, things were going great and then the boss gets there and sits down next to the desk and just starts explaining how one of his businesses is going down the drain, that he had to fire some other employees and that he has come to a decision that makes him feel really bad. That he has to fire me.....FIRE ME!!!! Come on I didn't need this today... I've been there for almost 10 years, in November would of been my tenth year there. His eyes got al watery, so did mine cause he could of at least done this after work.. He said he is getting out a loan to pay what I deserve for all the time I have been working there. I asked him why me, he said that he pays me more than everyone else and cause he needs to financially support his family plus his own sister, cause her husband doesn't have a good job. That she has gone to him for help. and he told her that she has to work in order for him to give her money, so she is gonna take my place at work. Which I still have to go this week to teach her everything I do there. Yeah like in one week I am gonna teach her everything..O well that's their problem. I just want my money for all the years I have been working there. It also makes me sad, cause I mean 10 years, I started working there when i was 17 years old. I didn't know anything when I first started, now i practically run the whole business, i do everything for him, all the bank related things, the accountability, the taxes, everything, i remember the times he told me he didn't know what he would do without me :( ... It also made me sad cause he was crying when he told me he had to fire me. He's a great boss, i don't think I'll ever find another boss like him. I will forever be thankful for the opportunity he gave me of working there. For all the great memories I made there. All the parties. He became another family member to me. But somethings have to come to an end. unfortunately today was that day. I'm just worried about everything else, I'm grateful I don't have kids to maintain, just this problem with my dad. Lucky for me my brother still has a job (Fingers crossed he doesn't get fired too) I also got my credit cards to pay, and other credits. that To be honest I have no idea how I'm gonna do it until I find a job, that's if i find a job. I just can't stop crying right now :( Well I'm out of here. Just please keep me in your prayers! PLEASE!

RIP Lizeth

Well' Thank you for your comments. Last night was a very sad and hard night! In a way i am happy that she isn't suffering anymore, but i am sad, angry, devasted to know that she isn't here with us anymore. This news came to me too hard, i wish i could of done something for her. Her body just could't deal with her sickness anymore, the worst part is that now she leaves behind her husband, her almost 4 yr old daughter, her parents, her 4 siblings, and of course her grandparents. The way our grandma reacted to the news was just heart taking, it just made me feel worst, Then to see her parents all torn apart from this. Her mom told me, that she had just seen her and that Liz told her she was fine, then less then an hour later she gets the news that she has passed away. Today we will give our last goodbye to Liz. I am just gonna go to work for the morning then i will get the evening off to give my last goodbye to Liz. Please keep us all in your prayers, specially her parents, her daughter and husband, and of course our grandmother who is very devasted about her death.

RIP Lizeth. You will forever be in my heart!!

Photos

Ok so its been a while since i have posted any photos so here we go!!!

Joelin has Grown a lot!!!

I love this little dude!!!! His mommy has done a great job in taking care of him!!! He will turn one year old next month, he is already walking almost running :)

Well thats all for today cause i got people waiting on me to go out to have some dinner!!! Have a great weekend everyone!! Gos bless you all!