Remember Lizeth!!!

Hello everyone! Hope everything is going well with you all! I'm just here at home just doing nothing pretty much :) Just thinking!!! Last night I was remember my cousin Lizeth. She passed away 44 days ago. I miss her so much, she was barely 20 years old. too young to have left this world. She has a beautiful baby girl, who has been having a very hard time accepting and understanding all this that has happen. She still ask why did God have to take her! Its just breaks my heart. My aunt is so devasted. She hardly ever has a day where she cries, but its good to cry, Right? I just keep them all in my prayers. I remember that we used to get together to go to her house at night and have a few beers and have dinner with her. She always accepted us in her house. Her husband is a great man. Its just hard for him still. They got married very young. She was barely 16 years old. Me well I look at picture of Lizeth and it just brings tears to my eyes, I miss her too damm much. Wish I would of taken more time to go vist her. Man when I saw her in the coffin I just broke down. This has been the first time I have never lost a close family member that I loved so much. I pray that doesn't happen for a very long time. In a way I feel I should of been prepared but how do we prepare for something like this. The doctors had told her she didn't have much time left cause her decease had taken control of all her mayor organs. She was retaining too much water. When I got the news I just cried and prayed for her. Still talking about her brings tears to my eyes. Its too freaking hard to accept. Sometimes I go near her house where she used to live, I sometimes look out the window of the bus, just to check that she is there but then reality hits me and I remember that she is no longer her with us. I have that feeling that maybe she will come knocking at my door to go out like we used to before. But I know thats not gonna happen but its just a feeling that takes over me. Sometimes I tell myself that its all a dream and that she is at her house like any other day, but I also gotta remind myself that she is gonna, that I saw her body in the coffin. I have lots of photo albums and I starting looking through them and I saw pictures of Lizeth when she was smaller, times when we used to go to the family ranch and spent days over there, she was always smiling, almost every photo I got of her she comes out smiling. I miss that. wish I could go back in time and just change things. Help her or do something for her. Sometimes I feeling like I'm losing my faith in God, cause I prayed everyday for her but he didn't heal her, well he healed her in a way we didn't want. I wanted her to stay here with us, for her to be able to see her daughter grow up. To be here and always see her smile. At the same time I know that God is in charge, I Believe that he has certain reason why this things happen. And I gotta learn to maintain my faith in him. I know that through him everything is possible and that one day we will see her again. Well just wanted to share this with you guys. Have an awesome day. God bless you all. Lizeth I love you and miss you too much. RIP cousin!!!

This was one of the last photos taken of her. Here she is with her mother at the family Ranch.