well, today started off fine..i was feeling ok, had my usual morning coffee with cocoa cookies, then left for work..but while i was sitting there at work with nothing to do, but check my Facebook account :) every 5 minutes.. I had my ipod on, listening to new kids on the block, then the song " in the morning came on...i just felt like crying, its not the forst time i listen to it, but it is the first time i actually pay attention to the lyrics and wow..it just remained me of my relationship with my ex-boyfriend...i guess thats why we broke it off, cause we didn´t have great comunication with each other..i wish we would of fixed things before they had gotten worst..now i don´t even wanna see him, i still have feelings for him, but not like i used to, when i feel in love with him. I do hate that we don´t speak to each other we can hardly even see each other without lashing out..I hate that he just talks without even knowing if things are true or not and just tries to give me jealousy..i used to get jealous before, but now i just tell him " i don´t care what you do with your life as long as it has nothing to do with me"..i do care, i do wish him the best for what ever relationship he has..
the other day he asked me if i could forgive him for what he did, even if we don´t get back together, i just told him NO, i have anger issues with him, i know i should forgive him, but i just hate him so bad, but i still love him at the same time...i don´t know excally what i am feeling or if i´m doing the right thing in ignorning him..he is the one that made the decision of us two not dating anymore or see each other...the worst part is that we have to see each other almost everyday cause we work together..my boss know about the situation he just told me to ignor him and with time things will work out, even if we are not together..i just hope they do work out soon..i hate having to live like this...
well in other news..things ta work went well, just that song that kept me from doing my work..just kept having my head in that song..i must of listend to that song for more then 50 times today..
Right now i am having myself a drink of Buchananas with mineral water..just felt like drinking today..i know i shouldn´t cause its barely monday, but what the hell, i really need a drink...
well hoping to keep writing in this blog... it´ll be like a small journal for me..well gotta finish my drink and watch
nkotb videos..they really make me smile, when i am feeling down..see ya all tomorrow.
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