Waiting....

Hello everyone, hope you all had a great weekend. I sure did.

Well for two weeks I have been waiting for a computer I ordered from my phone company Telmex. But it hasn't gotten here. I will be going today again to Telmex to see why it hasn't gotten here. I am going crazy without my computer. I need a computer to work better at home, I can watch tv series, update my blogger better, upload photos, send photos to family members and many other things. We'll see what happens today when I go to Telmex.

    Today is a great day, today Perla's baby boy Yael is born today, Perla had been a very great cousin, I considered her my sister. But then about 2 months ago, her sister, Perla and her mother have been mad at me for drinking at Perlas house with a few friends and family members while she was pregnant, the only reason we werwe drinking there was cause Perla called me and asked me to go over, shhe bought the beer and said it was ok for my friend to go drink there but guess she didn't tell that part to her parents, things got bad so I deleted my Facebook account and when I reactivated my account I deleter everyone from my page and just left my brother and sisters to keep in ttouch with them. And Perlas family took it personal and they have been mad at me since them. I apologized and asked to them to forgive me if I made them feel bad, but things haven't been the same since. I send Perla a message but she never answered. I feel sad that she won't answer. I had a gift for her baby boy but she never came for it. Guess there went a waste of money. Bad part is that a friend gave me that money to be able to afford the baby clothes. I told my friend she doesn't talk to me anymore and he just said to ignore her and move on with my life. That some people are just made to me mean. I still love her don't get me wrong. But I know that soome day she will call me asking me to go to the house for a few drinks, but I will do the same thing she is doing to me, i'll ignore her phone call.

   I really wish I could go a meet the baby but it looks like I won't be able to go. Not while they don't learn to let things go and move forward. I pray that they won't be needing my help one day, cause the way that I am I know I. will throw this at their face and tell them to get lost. I know it sounds mean but this whole situation just makes me angry.

    Their parents think that i'm the one that tells them to go out and drink, but honestly its the other way around. They used to call me almost everyweek and almost everyday to go over and have a few drinks. And it pisses me off that they don't tell that to their parents. They only say that it was me who tells them to go out. But me being an idiot always went when they called me, but not no more. I'm tired of this crap and all the problems it causes. They wanna ignore me I will do the same when they need my help.

    I pray that everything goes well with the birth of the baby and pray that Perla has good health to raise the baby right. I will always pray for them even when we are made at each other. I still love them cause we are family.

   I pray to God to help me with this anger I have right now, cause I know myself, I know I will go and drink it off. And thats wrong.

  I love you all, thanks for taking the time to read. God bless you all.   

RIP Nancy

Today as I was just finishing the cleaning at work, my uncle told me that our friend Nancy passed away early this morning. :-(

Nancy had cancer, not sure what type of cancer, but she had this cancer for almost 20 yrs or a little over then 20yrs. This cancer used to grown lumps in her back, arms, legs, almost her entire body, but with medication it was controlled. Her arm used to get very swollen and it was too heavy for her to she had to wear a bandage to have to carry her arm.

Inspiting her cancer, she was always smiling laughing and very active. She was the type of person that is friendly with everyone. She tought me to always be happy and thankful for everything we have.

This past year her cancer got worst, her medication wasn't working for her anymore. So she had to do chemotherapy. She lost all her hair, she lost lots of weight and at the end its like iif she lost her will to live. She didn't seem as happy anymore. In a way I understand, so many years fighting this cancer, guess she got tired of it. It makes me sad to have to say goodbye to such a great friend.

Aparte from her cancer, her own family was mean to her, her sisters wouldn't help her with bills, they never helped her while she was at the hospital, they never accompanied her to do her chemotherapys. That just makes me angery that they treated her like that. But she always had a smile on her face.

I don't have a picture of her in my phone, but as soon as my computer arrives I wiill search in my hard drive for a picturw to post.

I'll always have you in my heart Nancy. I'll always remember your great smile and your huge heart. I love you and will always miss you.
RIP Nancy 

Difficult being aparte from the family.

Hello, everyone! How are you all? Hope your are enjoying this Sunday afternoon, i'm just sitting here flipping the channels. Bored without a computer.

Unfortunantly my brother said that the laptops that I tried out are not good marcs. He said that HP laptops alwways tend to fail.  So, i'm still with no computer.

So I reopened my facebook acccount but I deleted almost everyone, just left a few people on the account. I reopend it cause I have been tweeting with someone is seems very nice. And well facebook is a better way to keep in touch, so I think. But like i've alwways said, you can't trust someone until you fully have gotten to know this person and most importantly met this person in person. I do have a little doubt but I also gotta let God try to guide me through this.

As I was looking through the post of my sister, I said a grave stone of a bear with the named of a baby, whos name I will not write for respect to my little sister. As I saw the stone there I just felt so horrible for not being able to be with her, for all thee things they have had to go through without us being there for them.

I hope theyy know how much we love them and care for them. And damm, how much we miss them. I thhink about them everyday that goes by.

I have missed so much in their lives, they've have had children, children that one day I would love to meet.

I know it has been difficult for them all. But i'm so proud of them for moving forward and living their lives.

And I also know that they weren't alone. And I wanna say thank you to all the family for being there for them this past 14, 15 years. Its amazing to see the support they have gotten from you guys.

And most of all. Thank you Lord for being there for them and helping them all in their journey that you have chosen for them.

I havve my hopes up that one day we will see each other. One day we will spent a whole day sharing and remembering many things. I look forward to that.

I have family here and I love them dearly, but theres noone like the people you spent your childhood with. I miss them all. Every single person who has ever been in my live I miss them very much.

Guys if your reading this please remember and never forget that I love you all and miss you all!

For the rest of my blog readers, I love you all too. I am grateful that I can come here and be able to share this journey with you all.

Take care everyone, God bless you all!

I'm going to eat pizza :-)

Just passing by!!!!

Hello everyone, hope your all are doing fine. i´m just here trying out new laptops, well they aren´t new, they are used. for now i can only offered used computers. So, i am trying them out to see if they are good for me. i  am going carzy without a computer in my house, i got photos i wanna upload. and they only way i can watch my baseball games is by using a computer. the television doesn´t always pass the games and i go crazy without watching my Rangers play.

So hopefully soon I´ll have a new computer and I´ll be able to upload more photos and be more in touch with all you guys.

Like i said before hope you all are having a great day if not, well thinking happy thoughts or read some jokes so you can laugh, thats helps me a lot. Love you all. Take care and God bless you all. 

Almost 7 months ago

Hey everyone, I know its late at night but I have someone in my head. My cousin Liz.

For those who don't know about Liz, she was diagnosed with kidney failure in October 2011. She was 19 back then. She had a beautiful baby girl named Alejandra Lizeth. Alejandra was barely 3yrs old back then. For almost a year Liz had her ups and downs with her sickness. In times she felt depressed and just wanted to give up. She went through dyalesis everyday 3 to 4 times a day for almost a year.

She was such a great girl. I loved her so much. I loved going over to vist and spent time with her. Even with her sickness she always had a smile, she always made us laugh.

I had about a month I hadn't gone to vist her, I only had comunication with her through Facebook and her brothers or parents. Then in the begining of September I had decided to go vist but I never gave myself the time to go vist her. Then on September 11 2012 I just had her in my mind for some reason, then September 12, I woke up thinking of her and wanting to call her or see her, but do to the way I work and always keep myself busy I didn't call or vist. Then at around 8:30pm my Uncle Omar came to the house and gave us the news that she had passed away. :-( I just broke in tears. I couldn't believe it. Till today its hard to accept. I spent the whole night at the funeral home with the family, I went home to sleep for about 2 hours then I went to work from 8am to 2pm. From work to thee funeral home for the service and the barerial. As soon as I saw her there in her coffin I just could be strong enough not to cry. The when they put her in the ground I just felt so heart broken, I couldn't contain my tears.

September 11 2012 was one of the worst days ever for me, it was a life changing event for me. I had never lost someone so close to me.

For some reason I have been thinking of her for the past few days, but right now I feel like its was September 12, like if I just recived the news of Liz. I miss her so much! Her baby girl is now 5yrs old, she is in Kindergarden. She is such a beautiful girl. She still asks for her mother. It breaks my heart to see Ale sad. But she still got her father and her grandparents.

Wish I could see her, wish I could of taken the time to go vist her or even call her. :-(

Well theres nothing I can do but ask God to help me with this pain I feel.

Its my bed time. I love you all. Thank you for taking your time to read. God bless you all! Goodnight!

Saturday April 06 2013

Hello everyone, hope your all having a great weeekend. Today the weather is cloudy and a bit windy. This weather makes me feel sad.

Last night while my brother and I were watching tv, we heard a loud noise while the train was passing.  We live very close to the train tracks so we hear just about every time the train passess, specially cause when it passes it passes by honking. We thought maybe the train was hooking up with another wagon. But thiss morning here at work, our clients are telling us that the train hit a lady. They don't know if she was trying to beat the train or just simply wasn't paying attention and didn't hear or see the train. She was injured very badly, here leg was all torn up. We don't know how she continues, praying she heals fast.

Other than that, well things are going great. I'm mean, I haven't felt depressed like I usually do, I have been getting up in the mornings and I feel great. I feel like I have something in life that awaits me. I hope there is something great along this long rough journey I have been through. I also know that I need to be a better person and change my lifestyle. I have been drinking a little too much lately. And I know it does affect my health but for some stupid reason I still do it.

Work been ok, sometimes there lotss of clients one day and the next its like noone comes, but I guess thats how businesss is now and days.

About our project we got going, well we're still working on that. Tons to do still, but I have my faith up that if I keep thinking positivily that we will get our project done. Cause have to work for someone else is hard and stressful. And plus i'm 28yrs old. I need to start doing something with my life if I wanna accomplish something.

This with the family well lets see, my father hasn't called me, but he has the time to call my uncle to tell him he wants to come but doesn't have money cause he wants to bring his grirlfriend and her son. Some of my cousins who idearly love and consider family are ignoring me, well I feel that they are ignoring me, they harrdly say hi or anything like that. But well i'm not gonna let that bother me. If they are mad at me well let be. I have more important things to think about than to be wondering if they ever wanna talk to me, all because of Facebook problems. Imagine that how the Internet can cause family problems. And believe me I know that i'm not the only one that has had family problems with facebook. But there nothiing I can, well I did delete my fb account. And maybe thats why i'm feeling less stressful and more happy more relaxed. Wow hadn't thought of that till now. 

Someone asked me if I discrimate certain people, I have always said to myself that I will not discriminate people just because of there color. Its like judging a book by its cover. I mean how can you get to know how good or bad a book is just by its cover.. Its the same with people, how can you get to know them if you reject them just because of their color. I love to meet new people, yeah at first I am shy but getting to know someone takes my shyness away :-) 

So its 12:12, who is thinking of me. :-) people here in Mexico say if you check the clock and the time are matching number that means that someone is thinking of you.

Its my lunch hour so i'm off to have some lunch i'm so freaking hungry cause I only had a cup of coffee and some cookies this morning. I orderedd some Tacos. I love eating tacos.

Have a great day and an awesome weekend. Always remember to thank God for everyday he has given and for everything and everyone in our lifes. I love you all, God bless you all!