Year 2013

Wow this year has been a very hard year, I´ve had many ups and downs!! I started off this year with no job, until February that i Finally got a job. But this job i don´t like, i mean i like i just hate that i have to work with someone who steals alot, not just money but merchandise. i really need to mov my ass to get our bussiness started so i won´t be dealing with people like that. I`ve gotten to learn alot about hardware equipment. I know how to fix something or how to ask for something when it breaks.

This year we recieved a new member in the Family. In April Yael was born, beautiful gift from God that was given to my cousin Perla and her husband. That little guy has given so much love, he is just adorable. He is almost always smiling, i love to see how much he has grown.

This year i have also made new friends, don´t see each other as much but we do keep in touch by facebook.

I have met Francis, he seems like a great man, we haven´t personally met but we do send each other messages on facebook or twitter. we met using twitter, he saw my tweets and said he liked the way i express myself and how i am to others. we messaged a lot, then he told me he loves me, i do think of him alot, but i´m not really sure if i love him just yet. i am also afriad that it could be some kind of lie, like on Catfish on MTV , so maybe with time we get to know each other more and maybe something may happen between us. I do have to say that he is a colored man, which i don´t care. I am afraid that the family might just not like him, but if i loke him and he treats me well then  thats enough for me. I leave it all in Gods hands.

My relationship with my brother and I is stronger. He sometimes gets on my nerves but i still love, i have no idea what i would do without. I am thankful that he is still here with me. I still remember when i firwst heard him cry, when we were dropped off in Reynosa with an aunt of ours cause we had to move back to mexico from texas. I hated to hear him cry, it broke my heart and made me angry and scared at the same time. But thank God he is a strong man and has helped me alot with all the issuses we had when we moved here to mexico. He doesn´t show alot of emotions but i know when he is worried, sick, scared or happy. I wish he would find a great woman in his life. If he doesn´t well i will always be here for him. Thank you brother for always being here for me!! Love you!!

My relationship with the rest of the family well, its not like i ould love it to be, unfortunatly many of us don´t talk to each other cause of stpuid reason. like "you hang out with them so i won´t talk to you" But thats the way this family is. Sad to see the family like this. but for those of you that still talk to me, thank you for always being here for me. I sure wouldn´t be happy without you guys!

My relationship with my stepsisters well can´t really say its perfect, i mean  we hardly message each other, we hardly ever talk. gotta fix that soon, cause to me they are my sisters cause we grew up together, most of my childhood memories are with them. My brother Javi, well things aren´t too good for him, but i did hear he is getting help, i pray that he gets well soon and we get to talk soon. My little sister Kati, well we hardly ever message each other much less talk to each other, thats is something else i need to change. I Love them all and hate the situation we were put in, we were seperated from each other but i am also proud that they have moved on and now some of them have their own families that i pray one day we get to meet. Guys i love you all and miss you all very much!

I havre gotten in touch with my cousin Jason, he seems like all is going good for him. Hope everything goes well for him this coming year! Love you cuz!

My father, well lets see, i don´t really have a great relationship with him, i still feel anger torwards him about what he did and for not being here for us when we most needed him. I am more angry cause he doesn´t have the courage to admit to the family thats its true about what he did. The family blames my step mother for my father going to jail, but i can honestly say i know its true about what he was acussed of. But thats him, if he wants to keep living with that lie, well then i will always be angry at him, i know its bad for me to feel likethat but its how i feel right now. Now he has a new family, new girlfriend!!! He has done for them then what he has done for us since he got out of prision!! How am i not suppose to feel anger against him when he cares more for them then his own children!!!

And of course theres our grandma, who has been there for us, she isn´t perfect but i still love her very much. This year she has been dignosed with cancer, Drs say she won´t stand the chemotherapies. she does take medication when she feels pain. she had gotten really depressed when she first got the news, but thank God she has a huge faith and huge strength that she doesn´t look so depressed anymore. I am happy that she has a huge faith in God, that has really helped her. I have no idea how i would react the day she won´t be here with us. i´m glad that God has given us the oportunity to get to know her and be with her all this years. She has put up a lot with both her kids and grandkids. She has this love that something it rough love but i still love her.

One of the saddest news i read this past November was the death of Paul Walker, i followed his Fundation, i love how he was. I loved the movies he did. I can´t image the pain his daughter Meadow is going through. He was so young. had a long life ahead of himself. Fast 7 won´t be the same without him. I know i never got to pesonally meet him but i really feel his death like its so close to my heart. Just makes you think that anyone can die at any minute any day! unexpected death is the hardest to accept. Paul Walker RIP!!!

Well i guess thats all for today. Gonna try to post some pictures that i have here on my laptop!! Enjoy! Thank you all for taking the time to read and God bless you all!!

Joelin, eating an apple, its just amazing how much he has grown!! Love you little man

This is Yael, the new member of the family, He kept sticking his tongue out! First time he had ever did this!!

Yael entertaing himself. He is just so adorable. Love you little man!!

My Uncle with his oldest son, watching videos on the computer at work!

Yael again entertaining himself well we were eating dinner :)

Me just a few days ago, preparing myslef for the christmas party at work!

Me again! same day!

And of course Paul Walker!! (not my photo) RIP

His words!! But i still can´t avoid to cry for his death!! RIP

Joel, ready for the photo!!! Love you lots little man!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas to all! Hope you all had a great christmas with all your loved ones!

I spent my christmas at home with my brother, no gifts were exchanged cause well its just the two of us and we don´t have a christmas tradition. We got up late and were able to spent time alone with no one to bother us :)

My dad well he spent christmas with his girlfriend and her son, he just sent me a text message wishing us a happy christmas. Yeah great christmas we had. In a way it better like this, cause believe me, i hate having him around, specially with his girlfriend. He decided to make her a house to live in, what about us his own children. He was in prision when we most needed him. when he got out, we had to cloth him and maintain him financially. it really upsets me to know that our own father thinks about his girlfriend before his children. he knows we have noone else in our lives, specially cause he decided to make us live in the USA with a Stepmother who doesn´t even call us or lets us know how she is or how our halfbrother and sister are doing.  Theres nothing i can do to change things but they do piss me off.

and well the rest of the family, noone called or invited us anywhere, so lets say Its just my brother and i alone in this life. But soon everything will change i have planes of having our own business and when i have enough money to party and be buying things i`ve always wished to have, i don`t wanna see any of them around.

Like my cousins lately have been ignoring me, why because their cousin has a shit load of money and is always giving them money for everything and for anything, to buy a car, to build your house, to buy a phone , come on people you decide to leave me cause i have no money...i don´t wanna see you guys around me when she runs out of money. cause moeny does run out, shit happens and one day your entire life will change!! Thats a reason why I´m happy being poor. I have no hipocrits around when they see the money sign! Then they have the courage to tell me i´m a hipacrit, please well see soon who is a hipacrit.!!!

I`m gonna change my life around, no more drinking!!!! Its for my own good. I need to show people that God is great and wonderful! He can make a huge difference in our lifes! I have many reason to be thankful for! God has given us so many reasons to be here, wether we are poor or rich!!

Well enough of that, this day is a rainy day, just makes me feel like i should be in bed under the covers :) but i´m here at work, working my butt off :) gotta make a living!!

In other news well, i seriously wish this guys would stop stealing money, i lost 900 pesos of my money to try to get the complete money for the regester box. This guy wants to live a life of being rich, when he isn´t rich just to impress his in laws, come one his in laws own various business, don´t compare, yourself to some who has a successful business to someone who spent his life drinking and acting all cool. please, even i know my limit when i don´t have money. I was told that his in laws know he is stealing but they don´t do anything cause they know he does it for his family. what good will that bring to his family? I know his wife must suspect something, she is a christian sh should have the right to question where he gets so much money from!! but maybe she knows and doesn´t wanna say anything! Its bad!!

Well guys someone here is being a jerk and wants me to get off my pc and do some work, like if he was working, downloading music!!!! but o well thats my life so far. Hope everything gets better soon!

Love you all!! God bless you all!!

Finally!!!!

Hello everyone! Sorry for the lack of posting, I didn´t have my computer! But no i finally have a minilaptop, my own minilaptop.

Many things have changed this past months. For starters, my grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer. Since they told her she has cancer, she started to become very depressed and of course scared. She said she didn´t want to leave her children behind. It just broke my heart that she is depressed. Well was depressed, thank God for her huge heart and huge faith in him, she has accepted her sickness and has left everything in Gods hands. She doesn´t seem depressed anymore. I told like talking to her about her sickness cause i feel like i might just break down and make her feel bad. Like my Aunt did, she comes and vists grandma then she starts crying infront of her, come on, we should be strong for her and happy that she is still with us.

My dad has moved to our city with his girlfriend and girlfriends son, they are living in the property that he inheriated, but the house he is still building is just not really in the conditions for people to be living in. No floor, no windows, no hot water, but he wanted to come so there he is, having trouble paying bills, paying all the material he needed to build the house, paying money he has asked borrowed. He even asked us to lend him so money. so lets see how it all turns out with him.

Work, well work is ok, just that someone here is always stealing money and i am frustrated about all that alreay, its sad cause its a family memeber who is doing all that. but i just gotta stay patient and hurry my ass off and start with my bussiness, cause i´m also tired of wqorking for other people. :)

My love life well, no boyfriend for the moment, i am trying not to force things to happen, i have faith that God will bring the man he has for me someday.

Unfortunately for me i have become worst with my drinking, i drink almost everyday. I know i need to stop for stupid reason i end up drinking. i wanna get my life together and be a better person than i am right now. mostly i don´t change cause i´m afraid of what people would say, well mostly cause i don´t wanna be leaft out of family meeting or lose friends. i know that a bad excuse but thats how i feel. I just need to learn to accept God in my life and move forward, caring less about what people may think or say about.

In other subject, i am so bored without basebll season!!!! I need some baseball to make things a little more interesting :) The Rangers have done many changes in their lineups hope its for getting better results then what they had this past season. Cause this past season i was really dissapointed. One person that i really want to stay on the team is Nelson Cruz. I´m hoping he doesn`t choose to leave the team. It was really dissapointed to here about him using drugs, but who am i  to judge!!! So Rangers i am praying tha Season 2014 is alot better then this season was!!!! I´ve said it before and i continue to say it, I´ll always be a Rangers fan!!!!

Well, guys guess thats all for today, gotta get my butt working, cause I´m at work :) Love you all, God bless you all!!!