Year 2011 for me

Hello everyone, well this year for me has had many ups and downs. I haven´t had any more problems with getting sick with my stomach. My health has been OK, not perfect but OK.

My cousin still needs new kidneys, her dad is gonna try to be the donor. She needs her dialysis everyday I believe she needs it done 3 times a day. I honestly don´t know why she doesn´t wanna accept that she is sick, that she needs to take better care of herself. She has a 3 year old baby girl. She doesn´t do her dialysis the hours she needs to get them done, she is accumulating lots of water in her body. I just pray that she does a better job taking care of herself.

My Aunt Carmen thank God she is still with us, I believe it was about 3 times that doctors had told us she wasn´t gonna make it through the night but she is still her. Unfortunately she can´t she, she also needs dialysis done, not sure how many times a day she needs it or how many days a week she gets it done. Her daughter, Chela, came home after 12 years of not see Aunt Carmen, i am so happy that she decided to come home and be here with her mom. Her daughters have done a very well job taking care of her. I thank God everyday for letting Aunt Carmen be with us. I cried various nights when i was told she wasn´t gonna make it, cause she is a mother to me, she is so sweet so caring, her daughters and i get along very well. I don´t know how i would react if she passes away. I know we all leave this earth someday, but its hard to see someone so special to me just leave. I pray to God to give me strength to go through what ever journey he has chosen for me.

Well my relationship with my dad hasn´t gotten any better. he came one this year to vist, well he came to do a job and we only saw him twice for the whole week he was here. I don´t know if our relationship with ever get better, i mean its hard for to accept him back after so many years without him. He is doing his own life in another state, thats fine with me. I honestly don´t know if i wanna have a father daughter relationship with him. Its very hard for me to talk to him without remembering all the crap we went through, all the shit we missed out cause of him, we missed out on see our siblings grow up and become young adults. Well yeah I blame him for everything bad that has happened to us. I know I shouldn´t but its very hard for me. I pray to God everyday to help me with all this. I love my dad, I don´t mean any harm to him.

My brother well he is the same as usual, funny and annoying :) I honestly don´t know what i would do with him in my life. I love the fact that he is so funny, but sometimes its annoying. But i still love him. Yeah like any brother and sister we fight, we argue, but we love each other. I thank God everyday for my big brother. I love you JR.

My little siblings well, Mayra this year had a baby Boy, beautiful baby boy named Jason Lee. He looks so handsome. She has grown up too fast on me. She has 2 more daughters, beautiful daughters. I am so proud of her, she has great kids and a good man in her life. I am so happy for her. Kristi, I know things haven´t been great for her, but I am very proud of her, she is a mother to 2 handsome boys, she has a man in her life, i´m not really gonna comment about him cause well lets say, i don´t know the man.. but if she loves him I accept him. She seems like a very tough woman, very confident woman, a very caring mother. Javi well, i know he has had a hard time finding a job. He has any other human has had many ups and downs. I praying everyday to God to help him keep himself in a good path, to help him out to be a great person. I know someday that he will get married and be a great father and a great husband. Kati, she is studying which I´m so happy for her. I proud of her. I honestly have to say we don´t have much communication, wish we would have a better communication, I just hope she knows I love her and have never, not for one second of a day have i ever forgotten about her. I wish things would of been different for all of us. Wish we could of stayed together but for some reason God didn´t allow that to happen. I pray that someday we all be together again! I love all you guys!

For great things that have happened to me, I have met new Friends, twitter friends, but they are more then friends. they are my sisters. I am so Thankful to God that he has put every single one of these sisters in my life. They help me out, we laugh together, share many things. I love the fact that when i need to talk they are always there to talk to. They give me advice and cheer me up when i feel like crap. Thank you to all my twitter sisters. I love you all! LoveEternal

For another Great Thing. I got Tweets from Donnie Wahlberg! To top things off I got a Follow! He seems like such a Great man. To put the cheer on to to this I would love to meet him. I know its impossible for this year cause today is the 30Th of December, but maybe next year I will have to pleasure to meet him. My brother asks me what is it that i see in Donnie, well whats not to like about Donnie, hes freakin handsome, very smart, i love his WoWs,i love that he says he love us all. Love that he spents time with his fans. He cares about his fans. Because of him I have met great sisters! I pray that i get to meet him some day! A girl can Dream, right! I love you Donnie, thank you for all your words and love you bring to us. LoveEternal!

Well thats all for today, maybe tomorrow I´ll post some more, don´t know what or where i´ll be tomorrow celebrating New Years! If I don´t post anything tomorrow Happy New Years to everyone. May all your wishes and New Years resolutions come true! I love you all! God Bless you all!

Just a Random Photo of me taken about 2 weeks ago (I think I should of cleaned my mirror first)



Its 9:55pm

Christmas Eve 2011

Well, its 8:17am i'm at work and its colder than yesterday, its also raining a little. I don't like when it rains cause it just makes the feel colder than normal. I woke up feeling very cold, didn't want to get out of bed. The bad part is that my bathroom is outside :-( I freeze my butt off...

Well as I was walking to work I noticed that the streets are empty hardly anyone is out today. Specially with this cold I doubt anyone would be out right .. I don't like the fact that I have to work today, much less that I am gonna have to stay extra horas than usual, thats not fair, but hopefully I get paid more. But I also doubt that, our boss is very Stingy with his money. Just imagine the only days he doesn't open the ctore is the 1st of January, I remember when we had to come to work and there was hurrican Alex, streets were getting flood, people starting to panic, and we were at work. I know it sounds like a bad job, but I have been working here for 9 years, they are nice people. Well the bosses son is a nice person. I like the fact that he helps us out in any situation we have, he does reunions with the works his a great guy. But sometimes I just hate this work, but at the same time I like cause I don't have many restrictins. I can get here late and he doesn't discount it from my paycheck :-)

ok so today I gotta go do weekly shopping and see what I can buy for myself. I don't think its goonna be a bad day.. Other that the part of someone dying last night from all this drug wa happening. Sometime I wish I could leave this town, but love living here, my family and friends live here, I was born here. Maybe someday, hopefully soon all this evil ends. I pray to God to protect us and guide us all.

Well I gotta go, gotta get back to work, cause clientes are starting to get here. Hope everyone have has a great Christmas Eve with all your friends and family.

feeling like crap today!

Today hasn't been a good day well this morning it started out good. But then around 11 am the secratry that works with me decided to tell the boss that we are gonna close early tomorrow cause his son said we could close early and not work on sunday, which is Christmas day. But the boss didn't like that, he said he always opens his other store, that we should all be working. Ok I do understand that its not an obligation to close the close for this holiday, but its gonna be my days off on Saturday and Sunday, but the other Secratary decided to open her big mouth and tell the boss, so he said we are gonna stay to work, heres the worst part, she is getting her t freaking days off cause she wants to go vist her mother in law.. Now i'm suppose to stay in her post when she is the one who need to be here.. I'm so pissed off right now..then at lunch time my brother sees me making lunch running around like an idiot prreparing everything for us to eat and he is just sitting at his desk laughing very hard watching stupid videos, a little help around the house would be fine. Then about 10 minutes ago I send to bay some sweet bread and a coffe, the man I sent to buy me the things bought me a coke and no bread, seriously is that stupid or what..seriously this hasn't been a great day. But what the hell, theres nothing I can do to change things. I'm trying to stay positive in this kind of stupid situations but sometimes its just freaking hard. Well I gotta get back to work cause I am still at work just wanted to write something. Love you all out there!

Its 5:55pm (make a wish time) :-)

Photoshop :)

Hello, Today I decided to check out photoshop to see all the different features it has and i decided to cartoon a photograph.

This is the original photo:

And this is the cartoon photo:

First time i have ever played with Photoshop, first time i have ever tried to do anything like this, so its not perfect but hopefully with time I´ll learn to do things better.

Things have been great around here, not perfect but OK. Christmas is coming up, i haven´t yet put up the small tree i have, i don´t think we are gonna receive any gifts anyway so why even put it up.

Today we got a very good visitor, my cousin Hector came from MaCallen. he will be spending the holiday vacations here with Nelson and Deisy. He loves to spend time with my brother JR. they are like brothers, well he is a little brother to us.

Well I guess thats all for today. God bless you all.

Its 7:18pm

Donnie Wahlberg is following me :)

Yes my friends like the title says Donnie Wahlberg is following me.... on twitter :) He sure did make my day very special. I consider this my early Christmas gift and early birthday gift. When I found out he was following me it was a feeling that I hadn´t felt in so many years, I am excited, amazed, happy, I can´t stop smiling since I saw him in my followers list. Now more than ever i wanna meet him. I never though that he would follow me, I mean I´ve never met him,but this has been a day that I will never forget. Having Donnie follow me helped me regain the faith I had lost years ago, that anything is possible and helped me meet new friends.

My friends on twitter are really amazing, well all the Blockheads are amazing, caring, supportive. When one hurts we all hurt. I personally don´t know anyone , but I know them by twitter and hope some day I´ll meet them in person. Blockheads are more than just friends, I guess we can say we´re a family. A huge family from all parts of the world. I love all my extended Blockhead family :)

I have been through some many things thats sometimes that when I feel very depressed, frustrated and angry, I know there's one place I can go and talk about my feelings, I can share what i´ve been through and I can get advice and comfort, I get my spirit lifted, this place is twitter. I trust my BH sisters, I know I´m not the only one who has had a though life i know that compared to others I have a better life then them. I´m not trying to say that I suffered the most, I´m just saying that I have issues like everyone else, but my comfort place is with the BH sisters. I don´t know how to thank them enough for listening to me, well reading me :) and giving my advice and lifting me up. Thank you all very much.

Mostly I wrote this post cause I am too excited to sleep, I still can´t believe that Donnie has followed me. I´d love for everyone who loves Donnie to feel this feelings that I am feeling. I really hope someday that all you girls get a follow from Donnie if you haven´t yet, and like Donnie says, Never Give Up! love you all! LoveEternal.

ok so now for more things, things around this city have gotten a bit more scarier. I pray everyday that all the violence here in Mexico ends. I hate living with the fear of having something happen to my family or me.

Last Sunday i went to the family ranch, had some Bar-B-Que with my Aunt her husband and their 3 children. Here are some pictures

Not perfect photos, but I´m trying to get used to all the features my camera has and try to learn to take better photos :)

well thats all for today. I can honestly say i had a perfect day today. Donnie thank you very much for this wonderful day you gave me. God bless you all!

Its 10:53pm

Baby Nelson and Baby Joel

so Today i went over to my Aunts house and i took along my camera. I took son pictures of her baby and then my other Aunt got there with her first Grandson. So here are a few photos of both babies. Bare with me if some pics didn´t come out good i am still learning how to use this camera.

Jason Lee

so on Friday Nov. 25-2011 my sister Mayra had a beautiful baby boy. He looks so adorable. Her and the baby are doing fine, they are at home. here are some pictures of the baby. Not taken by me.

Thank you Lord for this beautiful gift you have given our family.

Sorry

ok, so i haven´t posted anything lately, i´ve just been lazy i guess.

well i bought myself a camera, a Sony Alpha SLT-A35 and i love it.. here are some pictures i´ve taken with it so far. I am not a professional photographer, so the pics might not very good. but i wanna learn how to take better pictures and mainly with babies and families. i love to photograph people. so here we go. i haven´t yet photographed people just yet, but hopefully soon i get the chance...

Family

I am not a good blogger.. Today i spent most of the day remembering family. My family, my Brother and sisters. I miss them so much, 14 years of not seeing each is way too long..I have 3 sisters and two bothers, my older brother lives here with me, but the rest of my siblings live in Texas.

I remember when we were younger, we used to fight a lot, for some reason i felt ignored, frustrated, angry.. one of my sisters and i were mostly mad with each other all the time, she is actually my step-sister but i consider her as my blood, i didn´t understand back then why we were always angry at each other, but as i have gotten older and seen life clearly, i have understood all that.. wish i could go back in time and change things. if i could of done something to help her and me too, to have a better relation. to both of my step sisters i know i didn´t treat well i really wish i could take it all back. My baby sister last time i say her she was 5 and now she is 18, my younger brother is 21.. i have missed out on 14 years of their lifes and i true hate myself for that.. i know its not my fault, certain things happened in our lifes that got us separated. I miss them so very much..

We have some communication, we check up on each other on Facebook. but its just not the same, i wanna go and hug them and tell them face to face how sorry i am for everything, tell them that i love them so very much.. I know that life wasn´t easy for them, but see them the way they are living makes me happy that they have moved on with their life, my two step sisters have kids and that is so great.. i thank God so very much everyday for keeping them safe and helping them in every way.

One of my sisters asked when we are going, i don´t know when we are going, wish it was easier and cheaper to get the passports and visa. I don´t make a great income where i can just say i am gonna try.. i have heard of so many people get the passport and waste hundreds of dollars to get the visa but then the government denies them the visa, i honestly can´t afford too lose money just like that. But i have to give it a try.. i promise myself that i will go and try to get the passport and my visa, i wanna see them i need to see them. we grew up together and to me they will always be my family.

This is one of my sisters and her two baby girls.

This is my other sister her boys are in the bottom pic

My younger brother

My little sister

Last time we all saw each other was 14 years ago. Praying that soon we see each. Love you all.

Its 10:04

Update :)

Sorry I haven´t blogged..i´ve just been lazy :)tons of things have happen..well let me start with the best thing thats has happened to me lately on Sept.-28-2011 Donnie Wahlberg Humped me, he sent me a Hump.. i almost had a heart attack, i couldn´t believe it. I had a Huge smile on my face that day and the next few days :)And on Oct-01-2011 he tweeted me about a drawing that a Friend Fernanda drew of him and his son.. I told Fernanda that i would be sending the drawing until he sees it and i did..he finally saw it and he liked it. Hopefully one day I get to meet him. Lots of people have told me that he is a great person to be meet. I pray one day that one day I will meet him.

Other news, my cousin Liz is very sick, she needs new kidneys, she is getting dialysis everyday. She acts normal, she doesn´t take care of herself, which is frustrating for me, cause she has an Almost 3 year old baby girl that needs her to be here for her. I feel like hitting her in the head and yelling at her, but its not my place to talk to her like that, hopefully she understands her condition and starts to take better care of herself. Tia Lucy, her mom, doesn´t wanna donate cause she is afraid of the surgery going bad, she has had already two surgery's and she has gotten critical after both surgery´s so she doesn´t want to have another surgery.. I feel angry at that decision cause its her daughter who is dying and she doesn´t wanna help her. Damn i would risk my own life for a child of mind. I don´t have any kids but i know i would risk my life to save my child. All i can do is pray for my cousin.

My Aunt Carmela is doing OK considering her condition. she is also getting dialysis done i don´t know how often she gets it done. She hasn´t gotten worst which i guess is a good thing but she hasn´t gotten any better. The same goes for her, all i can do is pray for her.

Things at work have been ok, just my idiot ex who i can´t stand to look at him, much less hear his voice. but i gotta move forward and not look back. he is my ex for a reason and it has to stay like that. Its hard but i gotta do it. Wish him the best of luck with what ever he does with his life..

Violence here has been so, so.. no gun shots have been heard in about 3 weeks, but kidnappings have been various in out town... well i really don´t wanna talk about that.. Praying to God that Someday all this ends and we can live like before, in peace, without any worries.

In other news, I have been drinking way too much lately, I need to slow it down.. I know i haven´t been feel good, it do to all the beer i drink. And what it does to my pocket.. damn in one night i wastes like 1200 pesos, thats about 120 or 130 dollars :( i haven´t been able to recuperate that money, well i know i will never recuperate the money..so i need to slow down on the drinking.

My father finally decided to call, just to say he wanted to vist but didn´t come cause he has no money.. typical of him, he left to go to work and send money to start building our home and he hasn´t sent crap.. o well i´m used to him always letting me down. I´ve learned to just look out for myself.

Other then that i guess thats all...o wait my Cousin lety had her baby.. His name is Joel :)He was born Sept 18-2011

Its 10:06 pm