Welcome to My Blog: Family

I am not a good blogger.. Today i spent most of the day remembering family. My family, my Brother and sisters. I miss them so much, 14 years of not seeing each is way too long..I have 3 sisters and two bothers, my older brother lives here with me, but the rest of my siblings live in Texas.

I remember when we were younger, we used to fight a lot, for some reason i felt ignored, frustrated, angry.. one of my sisters and i were mostly mad with each other all the time, she is actually my step-sister but i consider her as my blood, i didn´t understand back then why we were always angry at each other, but as i have gotten older and seen life clearly, i have understood all that.. wish i could go back in time and change things. if i could of done something to help her and me too, to have a better relation. to both of my step sisters i know i didn´t treat well i really wish i could take it all back. My baby sister last time i say her she was 5 and now she is 18, my younger brother is 21.. i have missed out on 14 years of their lifes and i true hate myself for that.. i know its not my fault, certain things happened in our lifes that got us separated. I miss them so very much..

We have some communication, we check up on each other on Facebook. but its just not the same, i wanna go and hug them and tell them face to face how sorry i am for everything, tell them that i love them so very much.. I know that life wasn´t easy for them, but see them the way they are living makes me happy that they have moved on with their life, my two step sisters have kids and that is so great.. i thank God so very much everyday for keeping them safe and helping them in every way.

One of my sisters asked when we are going, i don´t know when we are going, wish it was easier and cheaper to get the passports and visa. I don´t make a great income where i can just say i am gonna try.. i have heard of so many people get the passport and waste hundreds of dollars to get the visa but then the government denies them the visa, i honestly can´t afford too lose money just like that. But i have to give it a try.. i promise myself that i will go and try to get the passport and my visa, i wanna see them i need to see them. we grew up together and to me they will always be my family.