Ok so my vacations are just about to end. Tomorrow will be my last day of vacation and on Monday gotta go to work. in a way I´m happy and at the same time i´m not. But work is work..I like my Job, but I get to Frustrated with everything I have to do..I like to have my own income, so I will continue in my job..
Not much has happened around here. Just getting news that my father was suppose to come and vist and get some work done for an aunt, but he hasn´t called me to tell me..well its not like he ever calls. He hasn´t even told me he has a girlfriend.. this is what pisses me off from he, so many years without him, then he comes home says we are gonna be a family again, then he leaves saying he is gonna get a good job to send money to help us built or buy a place of our own..its been three years and not one peso has he sent to us.. My brother and I have spent more than half of our lifes alone without any of our parents to support us.. I know i should be used to dad always disappointing me but i just can´t get used to it. I know i have some fault into the way he is but please I don´t hate him, I just hate what he did to destroy our family, i hate that he doesn´t have the courage to tell the truth to his mother or brothers and sisters. I hate that they always get mad at me for having anger towards him, but how can i not have anger towards him, when he has never been here for me, for us..I remember when i turn 13 yrs old, he forgot about my birthday, my stepmother just said that he has lots in his head..so what I have lots in mu head and I have never forgotten anyone's birthday, man i even remember other peoples birthdays that are not my family, even people that i barely know. When I was about to turn 14 he went to Prison..both my brother and i started working at 17 years of age.. we didn´t finish school cause there was no money to get us through school. Of course I am not gonna blame him for that, cause now we both have a way to study but we don´t want to..but for the first time in my life I felt hunger..There were times that I felt like just giving up and killing myself..lucky I have my brother who always kept me on my toes. Yeah there are times now that even my brother disappoints me makes me feel really bad, cause Of my dreams of becoming someone successfully or wanting to have a house of my own, or just with the fact that someday I dream of having a family..Of course me being me, I take everything to heart specially if someones criticizes me or my goals.
What keeps me going each day, well I honestly have to say, I don´t know. I guess I have to say Friends from my twitter account, specially all The Block Heads, well I have to say Donnie Wahlberg´s Word of Wisdom also get me going each day, yeah sometimes I don´t truly like his words of wisdom, well its just that some I know I can´t do..Like there was one tweet that said, if there a bump in the road just go around it, through over it and keep moving forward..something like that..well what happens if that bump keeps showing up on your way towards your goal, I could jump it go over it around it, but whats happens if it just keeps showing, how do I get rid of that bump??? But most of His words of Wisdom are great. And another things that keeps me going is that someday I would love to meet him and just thank him for his words, they give me comfort, well his good lucks also give me comfort :) And the way he smiles and just is with his fans. He seems like such an awesome man. Thats what also keeps me going..And other little things, like cousins, some family, not all. But most of all, My faith towards God, its because of him that I am still here and i believe he has something great planned for me..
Well thats all for today. Hope everyone has a great Saturday. God bless you all.
Its 5:53pm
No comments:
Post a Comment