So hows everyone doing? I am ok, in a way. Haven't posted any thing for awhile. I've been lazy. Not much has happened around here. The violence here in our city has gone down a lot. Which is a good thing, but theres still that chance that it can return, but I pray it doesn't. At work, well. I got a new office, but in this new office I am totally alone,, noone to talk to. So I most of the time feel sleepy cause I am so bored. :-) sometimes I just wanna take a little nap here :-)
In my personal life, well my cousin Liz well she's isn't doing too well. But she is stll hanging on something to stay here with us all. My boss gave me some weeds that a client of us drank to regenarate his kidneys and he said he ggot better with those weeds. I hope liz is drrinking it cause I reaally think she has changed her mind about fighting this. I pray everyday for her. On another subject something I have been and am struggling with is my acohol addiction. I can't spent one week without having alcohol. I've been trying and trying but for stupid reasons I always end up drinking. This week i've drank on Monday and wednesday night, plus I had dranken a lot on Saturday. I just let too many issuses get to me. Each time I start drinkiing I always just this one, but no I end up having way too much. I know I need to quit but I have no idea why I continue to drink.. I can asure. You thhat if I don't drink tonight i'll end up drinking tomorrow night. I know some of you will say well ask for help, seriously that my family is just gonna say, that thats wrong cause drinking doesn't do you harm as long as you control yourself, plus my family drinks a lot. My father was the one who intruduced me to drinking he tought me how to drink. All the family drinks. So I guess they will see itt as a weakness if I don't wanna contiinue drinking. My family and friends say I drink alot but I never get drunk and that the next day they say I never show that I am hungover, even though I do feel hungover they say they can't tell I am hungove. Lately when I don't drink and I go to sleep the next morning I feel like I didn't rest at all. But when I drink and go to sleep the next morning I wake up feeling with energy, but during the rest of the day I start feeling sleepy. I pray and try everyday to quit. I know I have reduced the drinking cause I used to drink everyday but I wanna quit drinking I wanna get it out of my life. But when I drink its the only time the family gets together and we have a great time, well most of the time, cause sometimes we start arguing about either my dad or other subjects. I wish one atleast for one day that the family would get together and noone takes any alcohol, just to see how get along when we are all sober. Last weekk we went to the family ranch and I had decided not to drink cause I am trying hard to quit and well I didn't drink until some family members jjust started with our usual problems which I have noticed that they always bring up my dad, the one person who is almost alwys missing out on the family "fun".. They get all mad cause he doesn't vist or call us.they said I need to forgive hiim for. Not being in our lifes for a while, almost 10years. But they don't know the whole story of why it is that I have so much anger against him, cause he doesn't want us to say anything about what happened 14 years ago. Which really does bother me cause my family blames my step mmother but I am so sure that she had nothing to do with him not being here for us. I can't say anything cause I am afraid that oour grandma will end up getting sick or the family will just simply not accept the truth. Cause they see my dad as a great man, a hard work. Well that day that we were at the ranch they brought that subject up and I got so mad cause they were all on me about dad, so I asked a cousin of mine is he could bring me a 12pack of beer and he brought and I ened up drinking it all plus someone else went for more beer so I ended up drinking a lot. I let all the problems get to me and I just to drink, I dont know I know its not gonna make them go away. This has been an issuse for me, cause I have been drinking for the past 10 yrs maybe more cause I ised to drink but in ocasiones. And I am barely 27 years old, wow i'm 27, time flys! I need to quit drinking. I pray about it everyday, and I asked for anyone who reads this to just me in your prayers cause this is getting harder and worst everyday. Well I gotta go. I gotta get. Back to worl. Love you all. God bless you all!
